Lucknow. Heads of people in Uttar Pradesh are reported to be spinning faster than a racing bicycle’s wheel as father-son duo of Mulayam Singh Yadav and Akhilesh Yadav have performed a series of U-turns.
After blaming the Prime Minister for India’s economic crisis and opposing FDI in retail, Akhilesh Yadav suddenly announced that his government in Uttar Pradesh will allow FDI in the state. The decision was taken in a hush-hush meeting last midnight.
“We realized that FDI could allow fresh inflow of money and other states could be filling their pockets,” state Minister Shivpal Yadav said, “Our babus were already unhappy with us for asking them to steal just a little. They told us that they will need huge funds to steal from so that even little thefts could make good income for them.”
However, Shivpal Yadav clarified that the decision was not being taken just to benefit the babus.
“Even aam aadmi will benefit,” he claimed, “Gunda elements will focus on businessmen running big brands’ retail shops, so the aam aadmi will face lesser crimes.”
Confused with Samajwadi Party’s U-turn on FDI, some retail shop owners met Netaji (Mulayam Singh Yadav, as he is called fondly) today morning and asked for clarifications. Netaji said something about stopping “communal forces” that confused the shop owners even more.
As the public rage and confusion grew intense, Mulayam Singh Yadav called for an urgent meeting that was attended by all prominent leaders of SP as well as some lost ones like Amar Singh, sources say.
After the meeting, Netaji announced, “We are completely against FDI in retail in UP. We will have a ‘one day bandh’ all over the state against it. All left parties are with us in this decision.”
When asked if the left parties had any significance in UP, he said that left parties were known to give support to bandhs all over the country.
Faking News’ attempts of asking questions over what exactly was Samajwadi Party’s stand and philosophy over FDI in retail was lost in the din as other reporters threw questions on politics.
Sources say that the call for Uttar Pradesh Bandh has satisfied SP supporters, who claim that such contradictory views within the party was a clear sign that the party was maturing and behaving like a national party.
The decision of allowing FDI but having a bandh against in the state by Samajwadi Party has confused BSP, which can’t make up its mind on what to support and what to oppose.
“FDI originates from Indian people only and Thackeray family originates from Bihar. We are doing everything possible to bring back the black money. Ramdev and Anna are RSS agents,” Congress’ unofficially rejected spokesman Digvijay Singh added to the confusion prevailing in the state.
BJP has blamed Manmohan Singh’s weak leadership for the whole problem and asked for the resignation of the Prime Minister of India and the Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh.
In the meantime, Akhilesh Yadav, CM of UP and son of Mulayam Singh Yadav, is learnt to have given complete support to the bandh and ordered that the government institutions will be closed today – on a Sunday.
(the report was originally filed at My Faking News)