New Delhi. After Exit Polls predicted a comfortable to sweeping victory for the NDA coalition, the BJP is not ready to accept a different public mandate on the counting day. Senior leaders of BJP have decided to form a government in the virtual world if the results in the real world are contrary to the predictions.
“We are not going to take a ‘no’ for an answer now come what may,” Amit Shah told Faking News, “If for some Subramanian Swamy certified reasons, BJP doesn’t emerge victorious, it will only mean that we have been denied our rights, and hence we will make up for it in the virtual world.”
“EVMs being rigged or partial counting by the Election Commission,” Shah clarified what he meant by “Subramanian Swamy certified reasons”.
“Plus there could be so many people who would have been extremely tired after relentlessly voting for Modi in the online opinion polls that on the actual voting day, they may have taken a break and decided against casting their vote,” BJP Uttar Pradesh’s strategist went on to explain possible reasons of BJP defeat.
Sources tell Faking News that BJP, whose planning about cabinet even before results are out can be compared with a person hiring a driver even before buying a car, has even finalized some of the positions in the virtual cabinet on Twitter.
Riding on the huge Social Media wave, Narendra Modi will undoubtedly be the Prime Minister of BJP’s virtual government.
Tejinder Pal Singh Bagga will be the Defense Minister. His role will to defend blunders of BJP and counter it with allegations about other parties.
Internet Hindus could be the Virtual Army with one of the HDL handles on Twitter as Chief of Army Staff.
There is still confusion as to who between Madhu Kishwar and Subramanian Swamy will hold the Ministry of Conspiracy Theories, since both have proved their mettle by coming up with theories that can be matched only by those woven by liberal minds.
Apart from the cabinet formation, BJP will hold sessions on Twitter and Facebook instead of holding any discussion in the Parliament. BJP argues that in any case, debates on Twitter are already way ahead of Parliament debates when it comes to nastiness, so adjustment wouldn’t be much of a problem.
Meanwhile AAP, which was initially threatening to sit on a Dharna if the real results were contrary to their expectations, has demanded that if BJP formed the government virtually, they should at least be the principal opposition party since Congress is virtually non-existent on Social Media.