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Snippets

Migratory HornBills stuck in Rajya Sabha

11, Jun 2015 By vogonpoem

New Delhi: A flock of HornBills on their Southbound migratory path were stuck in New Delhi, unable to get past the Rajya Sabha. They were earlier able to transit through the Lok Sabha with a comfortable majority. The opposition parties, led by the Congress claimed that the Bills were anti-pheasant and reeked of crow-ny capitalism. The Angry Birds have decided to rest, nest & protest at the Ramlila Maidan grounds. At the instigation of AAP Dharna Counselors, some Hornbills even lobbied the NDA to introduce a Right to Passage bill, which unfortunately, also got stuck in the Rajya Sabha.

HornBills seeking right to passage
HornBills seeking right to passage

PM Modi, in his Mann Ki Baat, reassured that the birds would be paid 4X the market value for their eggs & nesting grounds. Addressing all avian species, he cajoled, “Pigeon bhaiyon! Do you want your sons to dirty Mayawati statues like their father and grandfather? Or do you want 24×7 power lines, on which you can sit & go easy on any unsuspecting victim passing underneath? What is going to be your contribution to Swachh Bharat?” Meanwhile, the Office of Rahul Gandhi sought to politicize the event by trending #PakshiVirodhiNarendraModi on Twitter.

Readers will remember that these are not the first Bills to get stuck in the Rajya Sabha. During the Winter Migratory Session, a flock of 10000 SpoonBills were returning home to their warm habitats when they were blocked by NSUI activists and forced to make an emergency landing. Congress and its all-lies had staged a walkout from the Okhla Bird Sanctuary, opposing Ghar Wapsi of the birds. Mani Shankar Iyer summarized his party’s position rather eloquently back then, “Our constitution guarantees the freedom of religion. Migration to the North is is a fundamental right. But re-migration to the South is a sign of Hindu fascism.” RSS activists had insisted that it was not a re-migration, but de-migration. The issue was finally resolved when the NDA Government passed an ordinance that allowed the birds to fly home.

Hornbill Monteiro, a respected ex-DGP, who had crushed illegal bird-watching in Okhla, expressed his anguish in a moving piece in the Indian Express. “The Hindu majority have given me the bird in my own country. I feel I am on a ($)hit-list”, he said, wiping off the droppings on his head from a wandering dove.

Back to the present, news reports confirm that the DGCA is still refusing overfly rights to the Hornbills. A joint session of the Parliament may be called to break the deadlock. Avid bird-watcher Shekhar Gupta said he suspected fowl-play & is on the lookout for any suspicious movement of migratory units towards Raisina Hill.