Monday, 21st August, 2017

Snippets

Meira Kumar stuns Opposition, adjourns Lok Sabha before disruptions could begin

05, Aug 2013 By Shaitaan Khopdi ™

New Delhi. In a tactical move that left the opposition shell shocked, Lok Sabha Speaker Meira Kumar today adjourned the house even before the opposition members could stage a disruption.

Sushma Swaraj, leader of the opposition accused Meira Kumar of weakening democracy by taking away opposition’s democratic rights. She also demanded her and Prime Minister’s resignation over the issue.

Meira Kumar
Lok Sabha speaker reacts after bowling a googly

Samajwadi Party, which swings between treasury benches and opposition, too blasted Kumar for leaving them stuck in their seats even before they could stage a walk-out over the Food Security Bill and suspension of IAS officer Durga Shakti Nagpal – two disparate issues that they could earlier link before the Monsoon Session.

It all happened at 10:42 AM in the morning. Some MP’s were slowly gathering in the house and were busy checking their e-mails, Twitter and Facebook accounts on their smartphones, while others were reading their daily digest of SMS jokes.

Few MP’s had just connected their iPad’s to parliament’s free Wi-Fi and were searching for torrents of latest Bollywood movie so that download finishes by the time house is adjourned, while others were discussing whether Nitesh Rane had already overshadowed Digvijaya Singh in terms of oral diarrhea.

One opposition MP told Faking News, “As it has been my routine since last 3 parliament sessions; I had asked my wife not to cook lunch at home. We had planned to block the parliament at around 11 AM. Suddenly I heard Meira Kumar chanting ‘Uth jaiye, baahar chale jaaiye’ rather than her regular ‘Baith jaaiye – Baith jaaiye’ and all the UPA MP’s started heading outwards. For a moment I thought Sushma ji has started observing daylight saving and moved the clock forward 1 hour. But when I checked with my colleagues, they were as clueless as Sitaram Yechury was, when the petition he signed ages back got public. Only if I knew about this beforehand, I would plan to have my breakfast too in the canteen.”

Meanwhile, there were wining smiles in the UPA camp. A jubilant Congress worker told us, “This is part of our strategy where we act as people in power as well as people in opposition. Sonia Gandhi ji was upset that we were not able to implement this strategy inside the Parliament as we do out side. But today, madam ji would be happy!”