New Delhi. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh was forced to cancel a hastily arranged press conference at the new Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium earlier today. The PM was due to respond to Gujarat CM, Narendra Modi’s criticism that the venues for the Commonwealth Games would not be ready in time even if the PM swept the floors himself.
The Congress had planned to swipe back at the BJP man by showing Singh sweeping the floor of the venue, proving that the Centre was squarely behind the games. However, there was a “procurement issue”, which led to the cancellation of the stunt.
“We were unable to purchase a broom”, said Tarun Ali, a government press officer, “we sent Raju down to the market with a hundred rupees and he got one, but we were told that it was not from an ‘official supplier’ so we could not use it at a games venue.”
The PM’s press office was then told that they could either buy a broom from an official supplier for Rs. 2 lakhs or they could hire one for the morning for Rs. 50000 only. “I only had a few hundred on me and we felt we’d have a hard time explaining it to the finance ministry”, explained Ali, “so we called it off.”
The PM is understood to be distraught. He had spent two hours studying correct sweeping technique. “He’s a good learner”, said Pooja, who cleans the PM’s office, “after only ten minutes he was getting right into the corners. No wonder he runs the country.”
Faking News contacted Yadav Brooms Inc., official broom supplier to the Commonwealth Games, and asked why their brooms cost as much as an average government ministry’s coffee budget.
“Um, er, well, our brooms are, um, shinier and a bit longer”, CEO Shishpal Yadav told us, “and they are official, that’s the unique selling point, yes, no other broom is as official as ours, or official at all, at least that’s what the contract uncle gave me said.”
Narendra Modi has since issued a statement claiming that he does all his own housework.