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Man confused over whom to vote after he forgets his religion and caste

19, Sep 2013 By idiot420

Lucknow. In a major blow to every political party and leader, a local man here has forgotten his caste and religion. The man in his mid 40’s is now an “undecided voter” as per the latest opinion poll.

“He was perfectly normal till yesterday, blaming people from other religions and castes for inflation and mosquitoes in his room, but this morning he was talking about economics and hygiene!” Kabir Chand, neighbor of the concerned man told Faking News.

The man has even forgotten his name, which had clues to the religion and caste he earlier belonged to. “For the time being, we are calling him X-Man,” Kabir said.

Electronic Voting Machine
When an EVM was placed before X-Man, he thought it was coffee vending machine and accordingly pressed the button, leaving everyone in shock.

“I am finding it quite tough to enjoy the political news and debates. I also feel out of place when I log onto social media,” said X-Man explaining the complexity of his situation.

X-Man tried to get some conversation going with “normal” men in his colony, and in the end all he could gather was that a man’s the political support must derive from his religion and caste.

“Now I have no fucking clue whom should I vote for and support,” he rued.

While some experts have hailed the development and claimed that India needed an army of X-Men, many other experts, especially pollsters and election analysts, have termed the development “catastrophic”.

“It will be almost impossible to predict which party will win the elections if such voters are in majority. We will go out of business,” Yogender Yadav, a leading psephologist expressed his deepest fears.

Although he has forgotten his religion too, some experts have refused to declare X-Man “secular”.

“If he doesn’t have a strong feeling of identity based on caste, we can’t treat him as secular,” Lalu Kumar, a sociologist claimed.

Meanwhile political parties are trying their best to make sure this “disease” doesn’t spread to other people.

“While this is unfortunate, we are looking at the positive side. He is like a blank DVD; we can write whatever we want. Make him Dalit, Brahmin, Muslim or anything. Every vote is important and we are not going to leave him with such a volatile mindset,” a political leader said.