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Leaked chat of Congress meeting after Rahul Gandhi’s outburst against Ordinance

01, Oct 2013 By Gaurav Mittal

Last week Rahul Gandhi termed the ordinance giving relief to the convicted lawmakers “complete nonsense”. Faking News can confirm that it was completed impromptu act and a genuine outburst by the Vice President of Rahul Gandhi.

The outbursts caused the Congress party to call an emergency meeting where the future course of action was decided. Faking News has got access to the transcript of that chat.

We thank our sources for leaking this conversation that was supposed to be off the record, just like the conversation of Pakistani Prime Minister with some journalists where the Pak PM is supposed to have equated Manmohan Singh with a Dehati Aurat.

Below is the transcript of what happened in the meeting:

Congress leaders
A leaked photo from the meeting

Sonia Gandhi: Thank you all for joining. I am so happy today; my son seems to have grown up. So much, that even the Prime Minister looks dwarf before him. What should we do now?

Rajiv Shukla: We will do whatever Rahul ji will say.

Prime Minister (over phone from New York): Hello, Hello, Hello…

Rajiv Shukla: We will do whatever Rahul ji will say.

Digvijay Singh: Let’s bring in an ordinance that says that the previous ordinance was complete nonsense. I just love this word “nonsense”; it is so close to my mind and heart. Thank you Rahul ji.

Rajiv Shukla: We will do whatever Rahul ji will say.

Kapil Sibal: Let’s blame the ordinance on BJP. They too tried to do something similar. We can say we are just following the policies set by the NDA government, as we had argued in the 2G case. This will also lead to zero loss of credibility.

Prime Minister:  Hello, Hello, Hello… are you able to hear me?

P Chidambaram: We can’t hear you sir. Are you speaking on mute?

Manish Tewari: Let me know if we have to speak against ordinance now. I will change my stand during news debates and talk shows. I just love doing so. Remember Anna movement?

Salmaan Khurshid: Yes, there is no problem in changing your stand. We have done so many times in our foreign policy for Pakistan.

Digvijay Singh: But I never change my stand against the RSS. Ha Ha Ha.

Prime Minister: Hello, Hello, Hello… are you able to hear me?

P Chidambaram: We can’t hear you sir. Are you speaking on mute? (does high-five with Rajiv Shuka)

Rajiv Shukla: We will do whatever Rahul ji will say.

Sonia Gandhi: Shukla ji, what are you doing with your phone while you keep repeating the same thing?

Rajiv Shukla: Madam, I am changing my caller tune to this famous song of Mukesh, “Jo tumko ho pasand wohi baat karenge.”

Digvijay Singh: Wah! you are too good Shukla ji. Keep it up!

Sonia Gandhi: Okay, let’s withdraw the ordinance.

Prime Minister:  Hello, Hello, Hello… has the decision been taken? But I had told media that it will be taken after I return to India.

P Chidambaram: We can’t hear you sir. Are you speaking on mute?

Rajiv Shukla: We will do whatever Rahul ji will say!