New Delhi: Nation’s most talented actor and seasoned politician Mr. Arvind Kejriwal has been offered a lead role in Hollywood horror movie Conjuring (part 3) after he repeatedly declared that Modi and several other politicians in the country were quite scared of him.
“Mr. Kejriwal has been talking about his scary persona in his weekly press conferences for a very long time now”, Said Nelly Stevenson, executive casting director for Conjuring 3. “The other day, I actually paused my TV, and looked at his angry face and realized that he indeed can look very scary, even without any makeup or VFX. We had a quick meeting and decided to extend him the role for deadliest evil spirit in the movie. This spirit will, as usual, scare the folks in the family, and will immediately flee the scene if it senses any attempt at exorcism by the lead ghostbuster which will be played by Irrfan Khan. Some portions of Conjuring 3 would be shot in India, so Mr. Kejriwal’s accent and way of speaking will be well suited. Especially the way he points a finger towards the screen while making an angry face, damn scary”, Nelly said.
Rumors have it that Mr. Kejriwal has not only accepted the role but also has started preparing for it. Addressing a mass rally of 29 volunteers, 13 on-lookers and 137 reporters, he said, “Yaar aaj ki date me, honest movie makers are not getting the right traction, as you all can see from Udta Punjab fiasco. This is the reason why I have decided to enter this industry and clean it up from within. You guys might have heard that I have accepted a horror movie role. I have accepted the role only because of Modi. I know Modi is scared of me and I want to scare him even more. Modi ji ko CD bhejunga movie ki, jab ban jayegi, na darein to mera naam badal dena.” He then pointed his finger towards media and stuck an angry pose for 15 seconds to emphasize how scary he can actually be.
Veteran AAP leader Ashutosh who was present at the rally also commented on Kejriwal ji’s acceptance of the role. He said, “I was really happy about Arvind expecting the role offer. Just that in his speech just now, he said ‘accepted the role’, but the correct phrase here is ‘expected the role’. Indian politics is cool about language, but now when he is going to Hollywood, his grammar and dictation (diction) should be perfect.”
While opposition leaders have declined to comment on this incident, Kejriwal ji has gone a step further and announced that he also plans to write the movie review for Conjuring 3,much in advance,even before this film is released, as he would know the whole story upfront. The film will be released in United States as Conjuring 3:The Evil Awakens and in India as Udta Pishaach : Meri Jung.
Censor board however has already indicated that most of Kejriwal’s scenes will be edited out of the film due to possible scary impact on voters in all future elections. Pahlaj Nihalani has denied reports that he is doing it as they may scare Narendra Modi.