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Karnataka launches riverwater.com to sell water at discounted rate to politicians

25, Dec 2014 By RT

Bangalore. The Karnataka government today launched riverwater.com, a one-stop solution to the decades old river water dispute with the neighbouring state.

The website will be exclusively accessible by the citizens of Tamilnadu, another state in India, and not a separate country. The inaugural offer boasts of free registration and 10 litres of free water for an order of 1000 litres or more.

Kavery
For sale

“We are very proud of the rust-free pipeline that has been installed throughout Tamilnadu – Our supply chain for the website,” the spokesperson told Faking News.

There are 3 classifications of users to the website. 1. Farmers 2. General Users 3. Politicians/Power users. The per litre rate is lowest for the politicians and about 20% hike in the rate for general users and for the farmers, a nominal 50% hike in the rate.

Explaining the pricing model, the Karnataka spokesperson said, “Farmers are our foremost customers and we intend to make maximum money out of them. At any rate, pun intended, we all know that the water bought by politicians will be distributed to farmers. Are they not fighting for water for their farmers for decades now?”

“We are not playing politics here. It is simply business. By this pricing model, we encourage farmers of Tamilnadu to ask the politicians to buy the water at a special discounted rate and distribute in their respective constituencies.”

“Within hours of launching, there were a few thousand registrations from farmers and about a thousand from general users. Only two registrations from politicians; and it was later learnt the two bulk orders were for: One to Poes Garden and another to Thailapuram gardens, residences of the political leaders. The Garden name was used just to disguise that the order was made for farmers,” the spokesperson sounded incredulous and a little irritated that the website lost large sums in profit.

Answering to “Can farmers have access to internet?” the spokesperson said, “We thought about it and are consulting with IIN. They will surely come up with an idea, laughable or not.”

Meanwhile, the Tamil film fraternity has upstaged a protest for ‘Acting’ to be included as an option for Power Users, with no-expiry option set: “After all, our superstar is 64 and still has not shrugged off young hero roles, you know.”

“We are in the e-commerce to do water business, not to be confused with our user base as to figure out who is acting and who is playing politics,” a worried riverwater.com official told Faking News.