New Delhi. Embarrassed by one CAG report after another accusing its leaders of corruption, Congress has decided to form its own CAG – Congress Against Graft. Senior party leader and union telecom minister Kapil Sibal will head the new CAG and will come up with reports that will counter and invalidate the findings in the reports published by the current CAG – Comptroller and Auditor General of India.
“We realized that the CAG reports were increasingly getting stupid day by day,” Congress spokesman Manish Tewary told Faking News, “We fully agree with A Raja’s view that CAG is just an accountant who is legally illiterate and comes up with reports that are worthless papers. That’s why we decided to form our own CAG headed by someone who was legally literate.”
“And who better than Kapil Sibal?” Tewary added.
Kapil Sibal, who already has the additional responsibility of Human Resources and Development ministry, will now be given additional charge of heading the newly formed Congress Against Graft/Corruption (CAG), and will come up with the reports that will explain Congress’ official position on corruption cases, such as ‘there was zero loss to the national exchequer in the 2G spectrum scam’.
“This is a good development,” 2G spectrum scam accused Shahid Balwa’s lawyer reacted when contacted for comments, “Now I can present the new CAG report by Mr. Sibal in the court as evidence and get bail for my client. I hope Mr. Sibal can complete this report by this weekend.”
But it seems that Balwa’s lawyer will have to wait for a few weeks as the first CAG report by Sibal is believed to be focused on the Commonwealth Games scam.
“Sibal is already a member of the Group of Ministers looking into the findings of Shunglu Committee report that had earlier accused Sheila Dikshit of malpractices. He will soon come up with a report that will counter and invalidate both the (existing) CAG report and Shuglu Committee Report findings on the CWG scam,” a Delhi government spokesman confirmed.
Apart from ‘legally literate’ persons, Sibal headed CAG will also have accountants who audited Satyam’s books under Ramalinga Raju and a group of journalists to educate the common masses. Unconfirmed sources indicate that Digvijay Singh will also be a part of the new CAG.
“If everything fails, Digvijay Singh will write a report accusing the current CAG of being either anti-woman or anti-dalit, because the recent CAG reports have caused troubles to A Raja, Sheila Dikshit, and Mayawati – two women and two dalits,” a Congress source confirmed.