Lucknow. Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh, Akhilesh Yadav has come to the conclusion that one of the main cultural problems in governing the state is the use of outdated and absurd textbooks by primary schools. A high level committee recently submitted its report after a review of the textbooks in use.
Quoting from the report, SP leader Naresh Aggarwal demanded immediate deletion of a chapter titled ‘Honesty is the best policy’.
“Students who read such old fashioned material in school books adopt wrong values, and when they are selected as IAS, get suspended for improper conduct,” the leader explained.
The chapter is devoted to the life of former Indian Prime Minister Late Lal Bahadur Shastri.
Existing text books shall be completely discarded and a team of 20 SP
hoodlums workers from the state are preparing material for fresh text books. Their work shall be modeled on the lines of a new chapter written by the party leader Azam Khan titled “Ram Naam ki Loot hai, Loot sake to Loot” (Everyone has right to plunder, so loot as much as you can). Even the original author Kabir would have given a ‘hats off’ to Azam for such innovative literary interpretation of his lines.
“Many of us never went to school and are therefore, much better off,” said a young SP worker referring to the pathetic contents of the school books, “Otherwise we would have been a total misfit in modern day UP!”
Raja Bhaiya from Pratapgarh while submitting a chapter titled, ‘Jiski Revolver Uski Bhains’ for Hindi textbook has recommended the Wolf and Lamb story ‘Might is Right’ for the 4th standard English textbook.
“The textbooks must reflect the rich contemporary culture of UP,” said Shivpal Yadav who is busy writing a chapter on the subject. He was recently pictured with two senior officers touching his feet.
In the meantime, Congress party has decided to develop its own mathematics textbooks for nationwide use. The books will have a chapter specially written by Kapil Sibal on innovative arithmetic – ‘How two and two can make 5 or 3 or 22 or 22 crores or 22000 Crores or zero depending on the context’, while BJP is contemplating to rewrite Geography textbook in which Gujarat will be shown in the India map with a zoomed scale of 5:1.
“God forbid, if I decide to quit IAS, I will not get a job even as a primary teacher in UP now,” commented Durga Shakti Nagpal after learning about the proposed changes in textbooks.