Sunday, 19th November, 2017

Snippets

In Pictures: Suggestions for politicians to survive Ink/Shoe/Flowerpot "attack"

03, Feb 2016 By Sandeep Kadian

New Delhi: After today’s incident where a woman threw a flowerpot towards PM Modi’s cavalcade, Faking News realized that our politicians need some guidance on surviving these attacks. Ink, shoe or now flowerpot attack are becoming far too common and without genuine survival tips, some politician may get seriously hurt. So here are some of our suggestions for the common attacks politicians face.

Kulkarni
The Ghoonghat: For people like Sudheendra Kulkarni who are inviting Pakistani writers to India for a book launch. Ink attacks are expected and you better be prepared.

When you are expecting a shoe attack, a baseball bat is very handy and convenient. Smash it back.
When you are expecting a shoe attack, a baseball bat is very handy and convenient. Smash it back.

When you are anywhere near North Block or South Block, expect a flowerpot aimed at your head like a Shoaib Akhtar bouncer. Be safe, wear a helmet
When you are anywhere near North Block or South Block, expect a flowerpot aimed at your head like a Shoaib Akhtar bouncer. Be safe, wear a helmet

When you have to defend yourself from ink attacks but at the same time you want to attack Modi, the classic sword and shield.
When you have to defend yourself from ink attacks but at the same time you want to attack Modi, the classic sword and shield.

When you are that rare honest politician in India, cover yourself from head to toe and carry a gun for your own safety
When you are that rare honest politician in India, cover yourself from head to toe and carry a gun for your own safety