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IIT honors Digvijay Singh for inventing call records eraser technology

13, Dec 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

Kanpur. Mighty impressed with his ability to erase call records from telecom companies’ database with help of some secret technology, IIT here has decided to confer an honorary degree on Digvijay Singh, senior Congress leader and former CM of Madhya Pradesh.

The secret technology came to public knowledge when it was found that call records didn’t confirm the claims of Digvijay Singh about him talking to Hemant Karkare hours before he (Mr. Karkare, unfortunately) was killed fighting the terrorists during the Mumbai terror attacks in November 2008.

Digvijay Singh secretly talking to someone
Digvijay Singh apparently has a special phone with his secretly developed technology that seamlessly erases the call records as soon as the conversation is over

“Of course he erased the call records; he can’t be lying,” Professor P K Dhutt of IIT Kanpur said.

“It’s amazing,” Professor Dhutt added, “it surpasses the hacking abilities of both Mark Zuckerberg and Julian Assange, and since he (Digvijay Singh) is from a party that idolizes Mahatma Gandhi, we have no option but to conclude that it was a case of ethical hacking.”

If Diggy Raja, as Digvijay Singh is respectfully called, accepts this offer from IIT Kanpur, he’d be awarded PhD in Electronics and Communications Engineering. In fact, IIT administration has suggested that Diggy Raja should file an application for patent over the technology that he had developed.

“Need for such a technology is being felt strongly all over the world,” Professor Dhutt explained, “imagine if all those who have been caught on tapes talking to Niira Radia could erase all the call records and claim that the released tapes were work of some mimicry artists.”

Professor Dhutt further informed that the institute was willing to spend on research and development and “enrich” the technology developed by Digvijay Singh so that in could be applied in other areas too.

“It could help us in curbing student suicides as well; badly performing students could simply erase their bad grades from our database with this technology and choose to start a new life,” Prof Dhutt wondered about the possibilities.

Meanwhile sources at IIT Kanpur reveal that Diggy Raja had almost lost this honorary degree to some unidentified “capable people” in BJP, whom he thought could tamper with WikiLeaks, rendering the whistleblower website to some kind of wiki site. But the latest revelations of missing called records clinched the deal for Diggy Raja.

Faking News tried to call up Digvijay Singh many times to get his reactions on this development, but all our calls were unanswered. Strangely, none of our mobile phones showed Digvijay Singh’s number in its outgoing call records list afterwards.