Saturday, 18th November, 2017

Snippets

If politicians were cricketers, what would their respective autobiographies say

06, Nov 2014 By Mishtik Journo

Mumbai: On the occasion of release of Sachin’s book, Faking News asked various politicians for their viewpoint on ‘Playing it my way’. Here are the responses:

Narendra ModiAfter I scored a triple century on debut for the national team, the public now expects at least a double century in every match from me. Hereon, I have to keep playing my natural aggressive game, always on the front foot and keep scoring consistently so that asking rate is maintained.

Not only bat well, my teammates now expect me to be present wherever the ball is hit to stop runs and take catches.

Sonia_Gandhi
“It was nightwatchman’s fault”

L K Advani: Still, hoping against hope that they make me the captain in the next outing.

Suresh Kalmadi: Fixing was done by others and I have been framed for spot fixing. Some day I too will write a book and name the Greg Chappell in my game.

Sonia Gandhi: Chasing 272 was always going to be tall order on an unfriendly pitch but never expected that we will be bundled out for 44. There was, however, no fault on the captain’s part. Now, many players might desert us but we are all for playing the same team.

Though I have been the non playing captain all through, Rahul will be on field captain  in the next championship tournament for sure.

Manmohan Singh: Never on the front foot, I always played from the safety of my crease. Risking my own wicket, I ran so many cheeky singles to give strike to my other team mates so that they could score quickly and improve their individual record.

Rather than go for a century, our players were happy scoring 20-30 runs in every match just to maintain their places in the team and come back to the pavilion in a hurry to strike lucrative endorsement deals.

Think I enjoyed playing on foreign pitches more than on domestic grounds. Oh, as usual, I must not forget to thank the non playing captain for her guidance and support.

Arvind Kejriwal: The opposition indulged in corruption and bribed the grounds-man who shifted the boundary to make it difficult for my players to hit a four or a six. The umpires were also biased. They no-balled us repeatedly and many LBW decisions went against us.

In the second innings of the last match, spectators booed us as we had played many rash shots. We must play sensibly hereafter and win back their support.