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Government to officially close the matter of 2G scam on Dussehra

01, Oct 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. After the controversial 2G note matter was closed in a 10-minutes press briefing on Thursday, government has decided to close the larger matter of 2G scam itself and put a conclusive end to the whole affair. After consulting various ministers and advisors, the UPA government has announced that it will officially close the matter of 2G scam on Dussehra, which is less than a week away.

“The views expressed by the CAG in their report are not their own,” Union Minister Kapil Sibal explained why the government thought that the matter should be closed.

Manmohan Singh showing victory sign
Prime Minister is reported to have given green signal to the whole proposal

“Recent reports have suggested that initially an internal audit by CAG had put the notional loss in the 2G spectrum allocation case to a much lower figure, which was overturned by the CAG headquarters,” Sibal explained, “This clearly shows that the CAG report doesn’t reflect the views of the CAG as an institution, much like the 2G note didn’t reflect the views of the government.”

Drawing parallels between the 2G note and the CAG report, Kapil Sibal further said that both the documents were just a “routine” communication between various government agencies, which were misreported widely by the media and misinterpreted by the public.

“Fortunately, under the able guidance of Madam Gandhi, we could close the matter around the 2G note,” he said, “And now is the turn of the CAG report – a matter that will be closed for good on the auspicious day of Dussehra.”

Sibal refused to divulge the details on how the government intends to close the matter, but sources tell Faking News that the process might not take more than 10 minutes, as was the case with closure of the matter arising out the 2G note.

“I think they are going to make a Raavan effigy out of the CAG report on Dusshera and Rahul Gandhi, acting as Lord Rama, will burn down the effigy with a burning arrow made out of the CBI charge-sheet,” Ravindra Chaudhary, an expert visualized the closure of the 2G spectrum allocation scam.

On being asked why he thinks Congress could take help of religious symbols, which almost makes it appear like the BJP, Ravindra said, “Congress has been claiming that they just followed the policy of the BJP government in the 2G spectrum allocation, so I guess they’d do the same even while closing this matter.”

However Congress has rejected such visualizations as figment of imagination of a few people and has blamed the BJP for spreading misinformation.

“All I want to say right now is that there was no scam. There was no loss and no rules were broken,” Kapil Sibal reiterated, “I am happy that the matter will be closed.”

(originally written for and published in the leading English daily DNA)