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Following results in Jharkhand and J&K, BJP to target Mission 36(±15) for Delhi elections

23, Dec 2014 By indianpsycho

New Delhi. After falling from Mission 44 to Mission 22 in J&K, BJP has decided to set realistically achievable targets for upcoming Delhi elections.

For now, they have called it Mission 36 (±15) and are confident their final tally would not fall outside it under any given circumstances.

Chhotte, margin of error thoda kam nahi hai?”

“When people don’t have problems with various opinion and exit poll agencies predicting seats in this fashion, I don’t think they should have any problems with this mission of ours too,” BJP president, Amit Shah told Faking News, when asked about the huge margin of error in their mission. “Also we may not even need Modi ji’s rallies to achieve this target in Delhi.”

BJP’s first step would be to get rid of the mole in their working committee that they suspect to be planted by Today’s Chanakya group, who had been setting up obnoxiously high targets.

“I seriously feel there is someone from Chanakya working with us in our mission setting team. We need to find him out first,” confirmed Amit Shah.

Not just BJP, Congress who has already claimed moral victory in both Jharkhand and J&K following BJP’s average performance when compared with opinion polls and campaigns, too has set its eyes on Delhi elections now.

The party has decided to float their own Mission 36-, albeit for BJP in Delhi and may not even fight elections itself.

“Our participating and winning is not as important as ensuring a BJP defeat in Delhi. We believe in Baazigar philosophy of Haar ke jeetna, ie: our victory in BJP’s loss,” argued a Congress spokesperson who had started celebrating BJP’s performance earlier today, while completely forgetting to look at tally of his own party.

Meanwhile AAP hit out at BJP for setting such a confusing and under confident target.

“They are playing it very dirty through these cheap tactics. My sources tell me their plan is to make our candidates over confident and campaign lesser than they should have,” Kejriwal told Faking News.