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Extreme Shortage of Popcorn and Soft Drinks in Delhi as non-stop AAP-DDCA drama continues

23, Dec 2015 By Parth Mehta

New Delhi: In breaking news, Ministry of Agriculture & Food has revealed that Delhi is facing acute shortage of Popcorn and Soft Drinks. The shortage is so extreme that government is seriously mulling to import popcorn and soft drinks from other Indian states and United States only for the city of Delhi.

Kejriwal-Jaitley drama giving Ekta Kapoor sleepless nights
Kejriwal-Jaitley drama giving Ekta Kapoor sleepless nights

Our reporter interviewed a source from the ministry to find out the real reasons. The source revealed that Delhi people were stockpiling popcorn & soft drinks after Arvind Kejriwal became CM for the first time in December, 2013.

After seeing ‘Kejriwal restoring illegal electrical connection which were cut’ to ‘Bachcho ki kasam. Na Congress ka support lenge aur na support denge slogan’ to ‘Bharti’s midnight raid in Khirki extension’ to ‘Dharna at Jantar Mantar’ to ‘his resignation’, Delhi people had figured out that entertainment quotient of AAP chief & his companions was very high which even Salman Khan’s and Govinda’s movies could not match.

After seeing this daily free entertainment by AAP, some Delhiites started stocking popcorn & soft drinks to enjoy this drama with their families every evening on news channels. After a tiring day of work, this free daily drama was the perfect remedy to freshen their moods up.

“After Kejriwal resigned and declared fight against Modi, we had noticed a brief jump in the sales of “Kachoris, Lassis and Thandais” in Varanasi. However, the sales quickly plummeted and things got better between May, 2014 to February, 2015. But after February 2015, sales of popcorn & soft drinks again picked up in Delhi. Things were not bad initially but from last few months, Delhiites have gone crazy buying them. The demand has grown exponentially & we are having a tough time maintaining the supplies,” source from the ministry revealed.

From the time of ‘Expelling Prashant Bhushan and Yogendra Yadav and using bouncers on them’ to ‘Farmer Gajendra Singh’s death in a rally’ to “Tomar’s fake degree” to ‘constant fight with LG’ to ‘calling Delhi police Thulla’ to ‘raising salaries of MLAs’ to ‘calling Modi a coward and psychopath’ to ‘targeting Arun Jaitley after CBI raid’, the AAP drama has been relentless.

Source also said, “You see citizens of Delhi are very smart people. They had figured out a smart way to get free entertainment. That’s the whole reason they elected AAP again, and not for free water or electricity. If they can get to watch the daily AAP drama from the comforts of their homes, why should they spend Rs. 300 per head to watch crappy movies and spend even more money on Popcorn and Soft drinks in theaters? Also, let’s not forget the hassle of driving to theaters on even & odd days now.”

Popular film critic Taran Adarsh has revealed that TRPs of Ekta Kapoor’s daily sops, reality shows and occupancy in Delhi theaters have steadily declined since Kejriwal became CM in February, 2015.

“Look, people of Delhi are just not bothered about going to theaters & watching the Saas-Bahu serials or reality shows on TV. They just put on any news channel & get the entertainment at their fingertips. And now Kejriwal is even providing them film reviews on twitter. What more can they ask for?” he said.

Meanwhile, following this acute shortage, Government of India has decided to invoke “Essential Commodities Act” which will apply to popcorn and soft drinks just like onions.

Delhi Theater Owners’ Association has also released a memo asking theaters to ration popcorn and soft drinks where only one small bag of popcorn & one small glass of soft drink will be provided per one theater row. If they runout, then people will be provided with “Bhelpuri and Jaljeera” as backup food items included in ticket price.

When our reporter asked Ashutosh from AAP about the shortage, he ‘twitted’ saying, “Shortage of popcorn and soft drinks in Delhi. Will the Modi govt. answer?”

Not getting any answer from him, our reporter then asked Kejriwal. He said, “Yehi to scam hai ji. Give me control of Delhi police & see what I can do.”

When reminded that this shortage is actually due to AAP drama, Kejriwal declared, “Modiji can’t even solve a small issue of popcorn and soft drink shortage in Delhi. Aur desh kya chalayenge? We ask Modiji to resign and face our internal lokpal.”

Our reporter is still in coma.