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Snippets

Exclusive interview with Somnath Bharti's dog

16, Sep 2015 By indianpsycho

AAP MLA Somnath Bharti’s dog ‘Don’, argued to be extremely crucial to Bharti’s domestic violence case, by public prosecutor was today caught by Delhi Police and taken into custody. Faking News managed to get an exclusive interview with ‘Don’, as he wasn’t comfortable giving one to Arnab Goswami. He claimed he did not have enough decibels in his bark to match up to the noise generated by Arnab on his show ‘Noisehour’.

FN: Why did you abscond only to later get caught sleeping at your owner’s office?

Don: Since I was named Don, I had to act like one. Have you forgotten ‘ Don ka intezaar toh 11 mulkon ki Police kar rahi hai, par don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai

FN: Rumors say you had gone to Kejriwal for help?

Don: Yes, I did try to meet him many a times. But he was either occupied watching some movie or was busy being upset with me. I even tried to change my get up to match with that of the dog in ‘Entertainment’, hoping now that I am officially from film industry, he would be keen to meet me. But sadly, it didn’t happen.

'Don', when asked to imitate voters of Delhi.
‘Don’, when asked to imitate voters of Delhi.

FN: So, how do you feel now after having being caught by Delhi Police?

Don: I thought I was Somnath’s Ashutosh, following every orders of him, but he treated me like Yogendra Yadav instead. Just like Yogendra was deserted by Kejriwal and had to sleep on floor, Bharti too has left me alone in Police Station to sleep on floor. I should have realized that my master’s priorities lie with safeguarding only beautiful women. And leave alone beautiful, I am not even female.

FN: But why do you think Somnath did not come for your help?

Don: Whenever he wanted to get something out of his wife Lipika, he would pester me to go on a fast, when she would not agree. He said since I was overweight, I was perfect for such gimmicks and wouldn’t even die. When I would refuse, he would get upset and start spamming mails of random people to cool him down. I think he is still mad at me.

FN: Tell us something more about the camaraderie you shared with Bharti during good times.

Don: We had lot of similarities. Like me, my master was most active during night. He too had a habit of not letting people sleep by raiding random houses, just like I don’t let people sleep by barking incessantly.  In fact, I think Somnath was right when he claimed that he made that midnight raid at Khirki extension for women safety. He ventured out of his house during night, so that women in his house could remain safe.

FN: Are you disheartened with how you are being treated?

Don: Yeah, but I am also happy to be have become second most famous dog in Aam Aadmi Party after Ashutosh’s Mogu.