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Digvijay Singh threatens to raise an army of 11000 bullshitters

10, Jun 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. After Baba Ramdev threatened to raise an army of 11000 young men well trained in martial arts, Congress leader Digvijay Singh has threatened to counter him by raising his own army of 11000 young men well trained in vocal farts. These men, personally picked and trained by the Congress general secretary, will not only oppose Ramdev’s army, but will aim to frustrate and annihilate any person having a different point of view.

“Each one of my bullshitter will have the capacity to mindfuck thousands of Ramdev’s half-naked yogis or Anna’s candle carrying protestors,” Digvijay Singh claimed in a press conference, announcing his grand plans to raise an army of bullshitting men, tentatively named “D-Men”, on the lines of X-Men.

Digvijay Singh
“Yes, we can!” said Digvijay Singh, assuring his followers that bullshitting was not so difficult if one tried.

Unlike X-Men, the D-Men won’t be any mutants having biological superpowers. They would be ordinary human beings with extra-ordinary bullshitting skills, unmatched by even the most professional and jobless trolls on the interwebs.

“Just imagine 11000 Digvijay Singhs,” the Congress general secretary explained his grand plans and threatened of the consequences.

Mr. Singh clarified that his plans, although announced to counter Ramdev’s army, were not hinged on Baba Ramdev’s plans, and that he was most certainly going to raise this army even if Baba backed off from his own plans.

The former Madhya Pradesh CM further clarified that he was raising this army not to assault anyone but to attack someone.

“What bullshit!” responded a journalist after hearing the above statement. The journalist, instantly recognized as an RSS agent, was later bashed up and kicked by Digvijay Singh and other journalists present at the press conference.

Post the assault on the journalist, the press conference resumed and Digvijay Singh announced that a public audition to shortlist promising young bullshitters from India would be held soon, and a selected few would be trained to attain perfection in this art.

The announcement by Diggy Raja has expectedly snowballed into a political controversy with BJP threatening to raise its own army of bullshitters under the able leadership of Navjot Singh Siddhu.

The common man was too confused and scared to comment as he had forgotten if the real issue at hand was some bullshit or some bill.