Tuesday, 26th September, 2017

Snippets

Congress recruits Paul the Octopus' kin to predict a favorable verdict in the Delhi polls

01, Feb 2015 By burabandar

New Delhi. Out of favor with the electorate, out of fear of a complete wash-out & out of sheer lack of any other option, Delhi Congress committee has taken to the tried & tested route to salvage some of its lost pride.

When opinion polls across the board have written the party off, as a last resort and some ingenuous creativity the party has brought on board Kaul, a great grandson of the great Oracle, Paul, the octopus to provide a constituency wise prediction of its chances of winning a seat.

Octopus
Congress’ last ray of hope in the Delhi elections

The idea was a brainchild of Mr. Ajay Maken, the party’s face of the sporadic Congress one finds in the city. A spokesperson confirmed the news saying, “The opinion polls predicted gloom for the party, we needed to be like the ‘party with a difference’. Plus the accuracy of such polls are always doubtful, so Mr. Maken thought why not dare to think beyond such polls and in came the idea about Paul. Sadly, due to the unfortunate demise of the great soul, we requested the owner to provide us with someone from the same lineage. This is how Kaul has come into our office.”

Boris, trainer of Kaul laments, “This is such a futile exercise. I don’t know what am I going to teach this octopus. I don’t know who Paul was, I’ve been told to teach Kaul to dip into three jars of food containing flags of BJP, Congress and AAP & get him to develop the liking for Congress flag. These guys think since he has the same DNA as Paul, Kaul would be equally successful.”

BJP spokesperson Sambit Patra didn’t waste an opportunity to take a dig at Congress, “This is a proof of Congress being a dynastic party. Why could they not get Kamla, the cow for the job? We are a party with meritocracy & I assure you if and when we do get someone to predict, it will do a better job than Kaul. Do you need more proof than the results of the last election?”

Meanwhile, Arvind Kejriwal lead AAP has already released posters asking voters the question – Whose prediction do you think is more ‘HONEST’ – Kaul, the Octopus or Yogendra Yadav?