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Congress elated as NASA found Earth 2.0

27, Jul 2015 By Anil Sharma

New Delhi: Indian National Congress has finally got a moment to breathe easy as NASA announced that they have managed to find a planet pretty similar to our very own Earth.

Sweets were distributed at various offices of INC as soon as the news surfaced that the space agency’s Kepler mission has found a planet outside solar system that may have volcanoes, oceans, sunshine and stupidity like Earth.

Rahul Gandhi is confident that he will make a comeback on Earth 2.0
Rahul Gandhi is confident that he will make a comeback on Earth 2.0

According to NASA, this new planet named Kepler 452b is about 60% larger than the Earth, gravitational pull is twice that of earth and it has a year that lasts 385 days.

Congress, which lost almost every possible election that took place in the country after Rahul Gandhi came into the picture, is finally seeing a glimpse of hope.

“Rahul Gandhi’s dream to become the PM is alive again. Here, on Earth people know how big of a knucklehead Rahul Gandhi is but we are hopeful that the people of Kepler 452b don’t. It’s just that Rahul Gandhi needs to reach there before Narendra Modi does with a selfie stick in his hand,” a senior Congress leader said on condition of anonymity.

“It’s just perfect for us. As everyone knows that Congress has enough money to move to Earth 2.0. We have capable people like Robert Vadra who can arrange land and all that. We can also take the very popular Arvind Kejriwal alongside us as he is always dying to do nothing but campaign against Narendra Modi. And look, 385 days a year, Rahul Baba will have more time for his vacations,” he further stated.

“And if we fail even there, we can easily blame the twice as much gravity for our downfalls.” He concluded.

Meanwhile, few of Congress activists are not so cheerful about it. “We will lose our jobs; I don’t know what we will do if Congress starts winning elections again. I have a family to take care of,” said one activist whose job was to bring out the ‘Priyanka lao desh bachao’ placards out of nowhere, told Faking News.