Monday, 25th September, 2017

Snippets

Congress accuses Narendra Modi of being responsible for global warming

04, May 2014 By jokertyagi

New Delhi. After figuring out that communal clashes in Assam were result of Narendra Modi’s speeches, Congress has now figured out that BJP’s prime ministerial candidate was the main reason behind global warming.

Talking about the 300,000 km travel of Modi in recent election campaign, senior Congress spokesperson Manish Tewari said, “The helicopter used by Narendra Modi added enough carbon dioxide in air, which caused the temperature of Indian subcontinent sore up to the level that the monsoon of India evaporated.”

Modi Yoga
Inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide.

“This is the reason why a bad monsoon is being predicted after elections,” Tewari claimed, before he proceeded to blame Modi for global warming.

“Narendra Modi himself said that he has 56 inches large chest; a guy with this big chest need more oxygen than normal people. He inhales more oxygen that is why people of Gujarat are deprived of oxygen,” he said.

“Since he inhales a lot of oxygen, he also ends up exhaling a lot of carbon dioxide, thus leading to global warming,” he explained.

Party has decided to approach United Nations with this complaint while senior leader Kapil Sibal disclosed that he was planning to make a committee before 16th May to look into the matter.

Congress says that it is a serious threat for the nation as it has been estimated that Modi’s chest size may increase after becoming the PM of India, thus increasing the global warming and depleting the level of oxygen in India.

The latest attack by Congress was supported by Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, who appealed that all asthmatic forces must unite against Narendra Modi and prevent him from becoming the PM of this country.

Priyanka Gandhi, who was campaigning in Amethi too joined the attack. Addressing a crowd in Amethi, she said that Gandhi family barely breathes and they left their share of oxygen for people of India.

Rahul Gandhi on the other hand declared that everyone in India will be given free oxygen cylinders under new scheme called Sonia Gandhi Oxygen Seva (SGOS) and ACs under Sonia Gandhi Thanda Thanda Cool Cool Seva (SGTTCCS).

Even the newly formed Aam Aadmi Party’s Arvind Kejrival said that he always suspected that this was a scam by Modi to benefit Air Conditioners manufacturing companies. He further claimed that he had a 370 page report on ‘how much oxygen should a person use and how much Modi is using’ and will soon file an FIR regarding the same.

Surprised with this sudden attack, the BJP was found on back-foot in protecting their PM candidate. Mr. Rajnath Singh said, “Modi is a responsible leader. BJP will announce a rally ticket for his upcoming rallies. The money will be used to plant trees around the cities in which he campaigns.”

“We have been talking to farmers and municipal organizations to give us land to plant more trees,” he added further.