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Cleric issues fatwa against communal sun because of its saffron color

23, Jun 2015 By psych0bar0n

Lucknow. The surya namaskar controversy has escalated further after AIMPLB dropout and controversial cleric Maulvi Bakruddin Kababi declared a fatwa against the sun for being in his way when he prays and thus making him do surya namaskars against his will.

“I knew since long back that the sun is communal, especially the saffron color it dons at early morning reveals its Hindutva nature,” declared the angry cleric. He also accused Hydrogen and Helium of being RSS members and lambasted them for the obscene act of undergoing fusion in full view of the public to create a Hindutva sun.

Mr Bakruddin has said that these actions of the sun are blasphemous and he would punish it by stoning the sun with water balloons till it gets extinguished, or tenders an apology.

Bakkruddin on his way to stone sun.
Bakkruddin on his way to stone sun.

He also blamed the Modi government for trying to make the sun a BJP member. “The way Modi is traveling around the world, I am sure he will visit the Sun pretty soon and saffronize the solar system!” accused Mr Bakruddin.

The controversy was further stoked by VHP leader Bhagva Jhandu who declared that the sun rising in the morning was a proof of its daily Ghar Wapsi and that his organization would try its best to get the moon under the saffron folds of Hinduism by smuggling cans of orange paint on the next Chandrayaan mission.

Upcoming youth secular leader Jahil Gandhi said, “We want to empower the weak sun by making it truly secular; I have asked Diggy uncle to paste a temporary tattoo on it and make it rainbow colored.” He was seen shortly later giving speech to a communal kid who he found eating saffron colored orange candy.

Meanwhile various suggestions have come in from sources eager to help Mr Bakruddin with his quandary.

“We could build him a rocket using which he could travel outside the milky way galaxy 5 times a day to avoid the sun, and return once his prayers are done,” said well known scientist Thopchi Singh.

The All India Muslim Personal Law Board, which has been embarrassed by Mr Bakruddin’s antics, proposed a permanent residency visa to the north pole where the sun doesn’t show up for around 6 months. “Once those 6 months are over, we could send him to the south pole,” said an angry AIMPLB leader.

But an undeterred Bakruddin Kababi was last seen issuing another fatwa to the rivers, Mr Brahmaputra and Miss Ganga for meeting openly in public view at the Sunderbans delta.