Mumbai: Today we are interviewing Sachin Barma, who is an expert in separating religion from religious philosophies and also a conspiracy theorist cum part time Adarsh liberal.
Faking News Reporter (FNR): Hi Mr. Barma.
Sachin Barma (SB): Hi.
FNR: You had recently stated a conspiracy theory that performing yoga is injurious to the secular fabric of India. Can you please explain?
SB: Yes. Absolutely. Let me explain it clearly. Doing yoga daily makes your organs function well and makes you more muscular. As only upper class Hindus perform yoga, they gain more strength to continue oppressing the oppressed minorities. Also, Yoga makes the upper class male Hindus brain more sharper so that they can engineer riots and keep minorities under fear. Yoga is clearly a weapon of upper class Hindu males to keep India under their fascist control.
FNR: I had never heard such a correlation between Yoga and Brahminical hegemony.
SB: Of course. Yoga was invented by Brahmins along with Caste hierarchy and global Zionism to keep world under their control. One more thing, do you know why they do Breath Exercises in Yoga?
FNR: So that its practitioners get good breathing ability?
SB: That was all a lie. Air like water is a resource. While doing breathing exercise, these upper class Hindu males inhale as much as oxygen as possible and hold their breath for a long time. Now, good oxygen in air reduces to a smaller amount. A minority of the world population, these Hindus, are holding majority of oxygen. How can the rest of the world gets its oxygen then? That is why you see thousands of non-Hindus dying due to lack of oxygen.
FNR: Lack of oxygen? I heard they die due to heart attacks or cancer or accidents.
SB: Idiot. When you do not inhale oxygen, does it not mean death? These people would had got stroke or cancer or blood loss, but the oxygen supply is cut off only because of upper class male Hindus holding it in their lungs while they do Yoga. And that amount of oxygen mixed with their blood giving them longevity. That is why you see them controlling the whole world and live for longer years. These people do Yoga to steal oxygen from the minorities of India. On June 21, Modi is going to invoke ”Operation Breathless’, which is going to reduce the oxygen concentration in atmosphere to the least. We need to raise our voice to stop this fascist operation.
FNR: Man, I’m feeling breathless now.
SB: It means someone is doing Yoga nearby. Let’s raise our voice to stop this. Remember, International Yoga Day is first step in Operation Breathless.
It was then we realized we were near a Yoga centre and unable to get anymore oxygen, both of us fainted.