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Bear who killed terrorists could become Chief Minister of Maharashtra

03, Nov 2009 By Pagal Patrakar

Mumbai. Government has decided to reward the brave bear, who mauled two Hizbul terrorists to death in Jammu & Kashmir, by appointing him the new Chief Minister of Maharashtra. With this step, the government is also hoping to address the leadership and political crisis in Maharashtra where a new government is yet to be formed even as it’s been almost two weeks since the assembly election results were announced. But it seems that the decision might be mired in controversies.

“The bear will be an interim and caretaker Chief Minister till Congress and NCP reach a compromise formula on power sharing.” Home Minister P Chidambaram informed while praising the patriotic bear for its deeds, adding, “I think it’s good for the people of Maharashtra and citizens of Mumbai to have a Chief Minister who has firsthand experience of dealing with terrorists, especially after we have received intelligence reports that India was still vulnerable to 26/11 type of attack. We hope to convince the great bear for this job.”

Exclusive file photo of the brave bear
Exclusive file photo of the brave bear

Local leaders of Congress and NCP stayed away from commenting over the decision but leaders from both the groups were trying to claim that the bear was ideologically nearer to their respective parties. BJP and Shiv Sena, although have favored installing a life-size statue of the bear in the city, have ridiculed the decision to make him the head of the state. The coalition has asked the governor to instead allow them to form the government as they could maul anyone as effectively as any grizzly bear.

But most vocal in their protests were activists from MNS, who threatened to bash up bhaiyyas if an outsider was made the Chief Minister of Maharashtra. MNS has demanded that the bear should first prove that it knew Marathi and respected Marathi culture before it was even allowed to enter the city. The party made clear that they were not against bears but local interests must be respected.

Our staff reporter was hit on his head with a hockey stick when he pointed out to the MNS workers that the bear could as well be termed as a local, because bulls and bears were long associated with BSE (Bombay Stock Exchange) and were a part of the local culture. Apparently MNS workers didn’t like him uttering Bombay instead of Mumbai. Our reporter has been rushed to a government hospital nearby.

“It’s unfortunate that your reporter had to undergo this, but he made an important observation that must not be overlooked. At a time when the economy is still going through troubled phase, I guess we should avoid having a bear as head of the state. We should look for eligible bulls.” a political expert said.

Meanwhile the brave bear, unaware to these developments, has been sleeping in his cave all alone, even as various mediapersons have gathered outside his cave to take his exclusive interviews. Faking News reporter was the first person who tried to get inside the cave for an exclusive bite. He too has been rushed to a government hospital nearby.