Monday, 20th November, 2017

Snippets

An Aam Aadmi's normal day in the reign of AAP

05, Feb 2015 By Mahesh Jagga

Good morning Delhi,

I am feeling so good that I could have shouted Good Morning to the whole of Delhi. Two events which I enjoy are slated for this day, but other things first.

One must appreciate that government is very effective. Power comes exactly as per schedule, at 6 AM, never a minute late and lasts full 26 minutes, never a minute less.

Coincidentally, it matches my alarm time and I feel privileged to have government as my butler!

animal-farm
Animal Farm – II

As I wake up, I face the first, difficult choice. Whether to go for breakfast which would be distributed from 7 AM to 8 AM or use my quota of wifi whose schedule coincides with former? Can’t do both as breakfast queues being longer, by the time I get it, internet time would be over.

It does feel good to have options in life, even better when they are free.

Oh! Shit! Public address system has become active. Seems I forgot to wear my cap again. Damn these cameras which have been put in every bedroom. Authorities watch for the ones who do not wear their caps within 30 seconds of waking up.

Keeping your cap on your head, except while sleeping is one chore that I don’t like. But, as they say, ours is not to reason why, ours is to do or die, both with cap on the head.

I decide to go without food. Food is available thrice a day but wifi is only once a day. Wise choice! As they say, man’s wisdom is tested in times of great difficulty!

Internet is fun! The life story of Kejriwal Ji is so motivating and thrilling that I read it almost daily. Then there are awe inspiring stories about the Judge, also known as Bhartiji, about the times when he roamed streets at night identifying and punishing those who did not conform to the standards of our utopian society. I get so engrossed that the internet time gets over in a jiffy and I am left wishing for more. But then, one needs to follow discipline.

College is a welcome place in winter, though we shift to shade of trees in summer. The classes are in the open, Sun warms our bodies and we forget the freezing cold which seeps through the tarpaulin that is also called ceiling in our house. That reminds me. Father had given a housekeeping errand to me. I have to lodge a complaint for the leaky tarpaulin. Even when you get the house for free, housekeeping can keep you busy.

Anyway, today we have practical on Projectile Science and I enjoy this. This course, started in 2017, is very popular among students. I have the special knack of hitting the glass window beyond the railing every time I throw the projectile (It used to be called stone, a few years back). This skill makes me a hero in the class and adorable son for my parents. The son who would become a party volunteer one day and bring more food to the table, more power for the heaters , probably thicker tarpaulin which can keep the cold (& heat) out and more hours of internet.

It is lunch time, now.

Only 35 minutes of standing in the queue and I get my lunch! I should have asked for something bigger today.

It is rice and some gruel which I can’t recognize. The serving boy understands my uncomprehending look, nods his head and says, “It is Dal, today”. Kind fellow! He knows it is difficult for me to eat something without knowing what it is.

The public address system announces that the onions we had imported from Maharashtra are stuck on the way. The neighbouring state, Haryana demanded toll for using a highway and Kejriwal Ji has declared toll payment illegal and a sin. The drivers are observing a sit in protest on the highway, along with our onions.

But I have no complaints. Anything for Swaraj!

As I walk towards home, my thought turn to the event I have been waiting for. It is our monthly Kiss of Love festival. The best part is that our Mohalla Committee chairman has promised a beautiful girl to partner with me, as a quid pro quo of tutoring his son in The Art of Misinformation.  Just hope that he keeps his word.

Last time I had to kiss that baldy, fat chairman himself as only two of us remained unattached at the end. Aarrgh!

Oh my Yugpurush! What is that, lying in the middle of the road? Looks like a currency note! When was the last time I saw a currency note? It must have been three, no, four years. I rush to pick it up, as do many others. I reach their first, am able to palm the note but scores are jostling with me, pushing me, pulling at me to snatch that note. I am being shaken, thrown around violently.

And I wake up with a start!

As I open my eyes, I realize I am back in my world, in 2015. It is my mother who is waking me up, telling me to get ready. We have to go and vote today.