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Snippets

Amit Shah to move to 10 Janpath, his new official residence

16, Jul 2014 By muddledscripts

New Delhi. Union minister Mr. Prakash Javadekar announced that newly elected BJP President Mr. Amit Shah would move into his new official residence at 10 Janpath.

“Good governance is about maintaining continuity,” he explained, “We have continued policies of the last government while raising railway ticket prices, formulating the budget, as well as in Indo-Pak relations. So why should it be any different in this case?”

Highly placed sources in the government told Faking News that the move was prompted by the government’s inability to change bureaucrats’ habit of sending all files to 10 Janpath instead of the PMO (Prime Minister’s Office).

amit shah
Ache din aa gaye..”

A rubber stamp bearing the name of Narendra Modi has already been prepared, and the Prime Minister apparently can’t wait to start using it once he returns from his foreign tour. Sources also told us that Mr. Modi has already started practicing saying “theek hai” to cameras.

“Well, they thought that the RSS Headquarters at Nagpur will be the new 10 Janpath, but Modi decided not to disturb the status quo,” a source revealed, “The grand tradition of supremacy of 10 Janpath will continue.”

Faking News also received unconfirmed reports of Amit Shah’s son rehearsing his speech demanding some ordinance to be torn up. He is said to have been extremely disappointed when told that the ordinance has already been converted to law.

“That’s ok, I can still demand more LPG cylinders, right?” he is reported to have asked.

While the BJP supporters have welcomed the move because it was a decision taken by BJP, the Congress party was up in arms against the move. Sonia Gandhi appeared before the media for 3 minutes and claimed that it was pure political vendetta and an attempt to subvert democracy and secularism. She further claimed that this would help the Congress return to power quicker.

Rahul Gandhi screamed “AAG LAGA DENGE,” before going back to sleep.

TV show The Newshour saw some serious debate on the topic. Sanjay Jha sang what appeared to be a poorly rendered medley of lungi dance and chikni chameli while Sudhanshu Trivedi stuck out his tongue and made elephant ears at him.

Arnab Goswami, in his imitable style, asked hard-hitting questions. “Tell me Mr. Trivedi, is it not true that Amit Shah killed hundreds of people, and therefore Narendra Modi has gone to Brazil, which clearly means that you are homosexual? Admit it. Admit it. ADMIT IT!!!” he thundered before asking another panelist what right the Congress has to rake up the issue.

In another interview, Union minister Ms. Smriti Irani denied accusations that their government was just like the erstwhile UPA government.

“Just count the number of differences,” she said, ticking them off one by one, “We have a program for rejuvenating Maa Ganga, we have promised a bullet train, we are building a statue of Sardar Patel, we know where Bhutan is …and…and… we are considering correcting history books,” she held up five fingers triumphantly.