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After Vinod Rai's allegations, Manmohan Singh reveals he was drugged into inaction for 10 years

12, Sep 2014 By idiot420

New Delhi. Soon after former CAG Vinod Rai alleged that Manmohan Singh was aware of the ongoing scams and yet didn’t do anything to stop those, Manmohan Singh in his defense today revealed that he was forcibly kept on drugs between 2004 and 2014.

However, contrary to BJP’s expectations of Sonia Gandhi being blamed, India’s former PM blamed unknown forces for conspiring to keep him inactive and robotic for the last ten years.

“Please don’t doubt my integrity and honesty. Whatever happened was a part of some malicious plan, maybe by ISI or the opposition, to stop me from taking correct decisions,” disclosed Manmohan Singh, presenting his side of the story.

Manmohan Singh
Listening to heavy metal while stoned is a great feeling.

As per Manmohan Singh, he came to know about this conspiracy only on the day he left PM’s official residence.

“You know, the day I left the bungalow, I was feeling much better and quite fresh. I myself was surprised. After brainstorming for a couple of weeks, I realized that I must have been constantly under influence of some kind of drug since I took over the post of PM,” Dr. Singh narrated how he figured out the whole plot.

“If I could figure out this conspiracy, I could have easily figured out the 2G scam conspiracy too, but I was drugged!” Dr. Singh argued.

“So, whoever took the decisions was not real me, it was someone else,” he further said.

“No, not even Sonia Gandhi!” he quickly added.

“You should not judge a person by the way he behaves under influence of drugs or alcohol,” a sentimental former PM argued pleading public to think of him as a common person, “I am not a superman, mujhe bhi chadhti hai yaar.”

“When you are high, there is no such thing as right or wrong. You soul is in sync with whole of the universe. At that time, one forgets difference between profit and loss,” Manmohan further added, “You see how helpless I was.”

Later a close aide of Manmohan Singh confirmed to Faking News that most of the time the former PM used to be in a trance.

“That was the reason why he spoke so little in last 10 years,” reasoned the aide unveiling why Dr. Singh was a man of few words, “People use to call him robot, but he was just stoned, that’s all. And certainly somebody was behind all this. Otherwise Manmohan Ji is such a gentleman.”

While the exclusive interview with the aide was going on, Manmohan Singh made an uncharacteristic intervention and spoke a few words to this Faking News reporter.

“Madam Ji warned me over 2G allocations, but I was too high to do anything about it,” Manmohan Singh said, giving a clean-chit to Sonia Gandhi.

I should have listened to her,” he said, making a cross sign on a picture of PV Narsimha Rao and Sitaram Kesari.