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After her TV roadblock, few more places where Sonia Gandhi might pop up

15, Apr 2014 By indianpsycho

New Delhi. After appearing on TV news channels all of a sudden yesterday, Sonia Gandhi and her party now intends to aggressively reach out to more people in unheard of ways.

Here are few more places where you might suddenly find Sonia Gandhi popping up and asking you to vote for Congress and defeat the communal forces.

1. Regular pop-ups like Adobe reader update on desktops of BJP supporters, with a direct appeal that will help them change their ideology.

BJP supporters will be flooded with such pop-ups making their virtual life miserable.
BJP supporters will be flooded with such pop-ups making their virtual life miserable.

2. When downloading a heavy file from internet and at a time when 99% of it is downloaded, a pop-up window will ask, “will you defeat divisive forces this election?” If you answer No, your download will get cancelled.

Sonia Gandhi calls it the gun-point tactic.
Sonia Gandhi calls it the gun-point tactic.

3. Congress is also tying up with corporates and sulabh shauchalayas across India, to come up with a system where a person will be stopped before entering washrooms. He will be asked through automated machines on doors, if he will vote for Congress. Unless the person selects yes, he/she wouldn’t be let in, howsoever strong the pressure may be. This is the part of congress’ below the line belt (BTL) marketing strategy.

4. Sonia Gandhi also intends to pop up in random parks across country where lovers/couples gather to have some moment of privacy and share her message of bhartiyata and hindustaniyat with them. She will leave them only when she is convinced they have understood and agreed to her point. Experts predict that such couples will agree in a second.

5. In movie halls, like national anthem, Sonia Gandhi intends to appeal to moviegoers by asking them to stand up for Bhartiyata and listen to her message. This experiment would be done only in Salman Khan, Aamir starrers and not in Uday Chopra, Neil Mukesh starrers where people may not bother to wait and undergo the pain and may leave the theaters.

National Anthems are passe, Bhartiyata and Hindustaniyata is in.
National Anthems are passe, Bhartiyata and Hindustaniyata is in.

6. On Facebook boys/men browsing profiles of random girls will be allowed to continue only after they have watched and shared Sonia’s video from official page of INC. Further they wouldn’t be stopped by Facebook from sending random friend requests if they share this message with anti-modi posts every now and then. Congress is in talks with Facebook India to implement this seamlessly.

7. Congress is also planning to flood YouTube with this video in the form of ads on popular pages without the skip option. Any attempt to close the window/browser could result in crashing of the system. To make it possible, Congress is planning to tie up with Microsoft, Apple, and Sawamjwadi Party.

8. Since it is an established fact that an average middle class Indian spends major chunk of his life on IRCTC website, Congress intends to play the message of Sonia Gandhi on loop while the page gets loaded. Any attempt to navigate from the page will render that attempt void.

Now IRCTC will not be responsible for page not loading.
Now IRCTC will not be responsible for page not loading.