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After CAG, Kapil Sibal now rejects CAT figures as “erroneous”

12, Jan 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. When CAT 2010 results were announced today, everyone was looking into the list of toppers, but being a media organization with a difference, Faking News decided to look into the list of ‘bottomers’ and was shocked to see the name of Union HRD Minister Kapil Sibal there.

With just 1.76 percentile, Mr. Sibal was among the worst performers in the reputed entrance test for admission into some of the best business schools of India.

Initially we thought it was some other test taker with the same name, but after sustained investigations we found out that it indeed was Kapil Sibal, the union cabinet minister, who had taken the test last year when he was bored in his office and was not yet given the responsibility of telecom ministry.

Kapil Sibal with his CAT 2010 scorecard
Kapil Sibal showing his purportedly real CAT scorecard where he got over 99 percentile in all the sections

“Yes, I did take the test for timepass,” Mr. Sibal confirmed when asked by our correspondent about his poor performance in the test, “but the numbers that CAT has come up with are utterly erroneous. The actual percentile that I got is very different and the numbers quoted by CAT doesn’t prove anything.”

Mr. Sibal argued that since he uses GRE-level words and idioms like “erroneous” and “flogging a dead horse” so frequently, he couldn’t have got such a low score in the Verbal Ability section of CAT, while his data interpretation and quantitative abilities have already been demonstrated when he questioned the numbers quoted by CAG in the 2G scam.

“The figure of 1.76 percentile is completely absurd and erroneous,” Sibal reiterated.

The cabinet minister of two ministries refused to answer why in the first place he took the test at all, even for timepass. Also, he rejected the contention as “ridiculous” that by issuing such statements in public he was hurting the credibility of an institution like CAT.

CAT authorities i.e. some guys at IIMs, refused to comment over this latest “controversy” but some trusted sources inform that not just Kapil Sibal, but many other politicians too had taken CAT 2010. The motives remain unclear but the results have been surprising.

“A Raja had unofficially topped the results,” our source disclosed, “but we referred the case to the CBI, who strangely closed the investigations without coming to any conclusion.”

“Even though Digvijay Singh already has a copy of CAT scorecard that shows him getting over 99.3 percentile, we can’t find his scores in our records,” our source said, further informing that at least three other politicians failed to take the test even after applying for the same.

“Murli Manohar Joshi was stopped from taking the test by his party workers. We had to reject Rahul Gandhi’s application as he had wrongly indicated his category as ‘dalit’ in the application form, while Suresh Kalmadi reached the test center three hours late on all the days,” sources revealed.

“Do they (CAT authorities) use energy efficient servers?” environment minister Jairam Ramesh responded when asked to comment about the surprising CAT results.