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After Azam Khan’s buffaloes, brains of some ministers go missing in UP

03, Feb 2014 By Ashutosh Sinha

Lucknow. Barely a few hours after Azam Khan’s buffaloes were recovered, the Uttar Pradesh police have been asked to go on another hunt to find brains of a few ministers that were reported to be missing.

A team of police officers handpicked by the Chief Minister have fanned out to different parts of the state to look out for the bhains brains.

It is not exactly clear for how long these brains were missing and if several important decisions that have been recently taken, were taken while the brains of the ministers were missing.

Akal badi ya bhains? This proverbial question might be finally answered if the UP police also finds the missing brains.
“Akal badi ya bhains?” This proverbial question might be finally answered if the UP police also finds the missing brains.

It is also not clear how the ministers realized that their brains were missing, and why they felt the need to get those back.

Faking News tried to get a list of the ministers whose brains have been missing but it is being kept a closely guarded secret. It could not be confirmed either if it included Chief Minister Akhilesh Yadav. No official was willing to comment on the developments either.

Police across the state has been put on a high alert so that the brains are not smuggled out of the state and a close watch is being kept on the borders across the state.

Top police officers of the state are personally monitoring the investigations into the missing brains. However, since most of the investigating officers had not seen what a brain looks like, they are not sure what to look at and where could they mind the missing brain.

“One of them went around asking people in the constituencies of the ministers if their brains could be found there,” one of the key members of investigating team told Faking News, not willing to be identified.

What is worrying the state government is that the missing brain virus seems to be spreading and the probe may have to be expanded.

Some MLAs have also claimed that they could not locate their brains. These MLAs were part of the group which went on a study tour around the globe recently. The state government is considering whether the police team should travel to each of those countries which the group of MLAs visited so that their brain too can be located.

Meanwhile after the reports of the missing brain, Chief Minister Akhilesh Yadav has been deluged by calls. A call from the Prime Minister’s Office indicated that Prime Minister Manmohan Singh had also asked a crack investigation team to locate his brain, which had not been used for the last 10 years. The two teams will soon compare notes to see if they can join hands in the probe.

“We are very disappointed that the investigating team has still not been able to locate the PM’s brain after its detailed investigation,” the official added, much to the disappointment of the Chief Minister.

A representative of US MNC also called the CM’s office claiming that they could develop a genetically modified brain. Its proposal is also expected in the next few days.

Meanwhile, the investigating officers have been scouring different parts of the state and only one officer could locate the brain in a remote field near Rampur, the constituency to which Azam Khan belongs. The state Director General of Police rushed to the spot. And this is what was found there.

Cow dung
Police is trying to ascertain if it’s a brain

Despite the disturbing developments, there is no official confirmation whether what has been found is the brain or not, in part or whole.