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"A Raja Suraksha Kavach" launched for Bureaucrats and Politicians

29, Oct 2010 By Farzi Wada

New Delhi. GM Teleshopping, the makers and promoters of the revolutionary Nazar Suraksha Kavach have launched another revolutionary new product intended to act as protection for the nation’s top bureaucrats and politicians, who are currently reeling under a string of allegations brought to light by the RTI activists and media.

The new product “A Raja Suraksha Kavach” derives its extraordinary powers from the prowess and abilities of India’s legendary and everlasting Telecom Minister A Raja. Launching the produce in a glitzy press conference, the VP and CEO of GM teleshopping Mr. I M Vella claimed that the product was a radical combination of Technology and Spirituality coming to the aid of humanity.

“This product has been developed in due consultation with both scientists and tantriks,” Mr. Vella said, “but above all, we are grateful to Shri A Rajaji, who agreed to grace lesser mortals with his gifted powers.”

Speaking on the occasion, noted Godman tantrik M. Dhankaswamy said “Yes, Rajaji has possessed these ‘siddhis’ (spiritual powers) from a long time now, which has warded off all troubles for him for such a long time now.”

Dhankaswamy was supported by ace scientist Dr. I No Farceey who said, “A human being’s body emits waves, such as those from thermal radiations, but Shri A Raja is gifted. Waves from his body are strong enough to travel a distance from Rajpath to Janpath in no time without weakening.”

A Raja Suraksha Kavach
The first 10 buyers will get an “aam aadmi ka haath” talisman free, informed the makers

The makers of the product claim to have incorporated the ‘satwa’ (essence) of A. Raja for the creation of this locket, which is how these products will be shipped. Every locket will contain minuscule hair strands of Mr. Raja, which are said to contain the required ‘siddhis’ and ‘radiators’.

For additional value-add into the product, the makers have also incorporated a slew of technological initiatives to make this product a world beater, such as its auto-shift to “denial mode” or “accusatory mode” and an automated algorithm that suggests shifting and re-aligning political affiliations.

The development has led to widespread joy and celebrations amongst the nation’s much maligned top-brass.

“Even a great batsman like Sachin Tendulkar needs protection from bouncers, so it is only logical that we hard-working people, who work day-in and day-out for the nation’s growth get some as well,” said a senior politician having chai-paani with his favorite bureaucrat.

The makers of the A Raja Suraksha Kavach are offering the product it in a combo pack with the Nazar Suraksha Kavach as they believe that interested parties would also like to protect themselves from the jealous eyes from other bureaucrats and politicians who could not cash-in.

Mr. Vella parried the questions when asked if lawyers and judges were consulted while making A Raja Suraksha Kavach.