Faking News has exclusively accessed a page of Lalu Yadav’s diary that he wrote in Birsa Munda Central Jail, Ranchi. His jail stint didn’t start on a right note. Read:
Woke up early in the morning with an upset stomach. Jail food sucks!
I mean, even fodder tastes better than jail food! And believe me when I say that.
I think these jail guys are having some scam. They are raising false bills to buy high quality food but serving the VIP guests like me such pathetic food. Saala sab loot raha hai hai aur pakda gaya hoon sirf hum!
This is not how it used to be. Last time I went to jail, the food was of top quality. I was also given AC, soft mattresses, mobile phones, and a color TV. Jharkhand was part of Bihar then, now it’s worse than Bihar! Nitishwa should try Jharkhand model of development to get more funds.
Read a couple of newspapers, and what kind of baklol people are writing there! They say my political career could be over. Gadha hai sab. Jaanwar! sab bhooka marega!
Other reports say that Prime Minister will come back to India and may withdraw the ordinance that could have given relief to people like me. Bhains ki aankh! In fact, bhains ki nazar lag gayi hai humka!
But these are temporary problems. I will be back in business.
Still remember, last time when I walked out of jail, I came out on riding an elephant. But last time I was not convicted. This time, after getting bail, I would rather avoid getting on an elephant. Bhains ke baad haathi ki nazar na lag jaaye!
But there is one nazar suraksha kavach to all these evil eyes – our judiciary. I have full faith in that, and we will appeal to the High Court, Supreme Court, Super Supreme Court, Epic Court, etc.
One stay order on my conviction and all this talk of my political career being over will be stay where it belongs – the dustbin.
Rabri has said that she will run the party with Tejaswi like Sonia runs Congress with Rahul. That’s my girl! She has all the qualities that Sonia Gandhi has, but she shouldn’t have compared Tejaswi with Rahul. Tejaswi has potential. Lalu ka, Rabri ka, Bihar ka, sab ka badla lega re tera Tejaswi.
Dhatt tere ki… phir pet mein gudgud… Toilet time for now.