Indian liberals and certain other people have been fighting International Yoga Day by hook or by crook. While they had given many reasons for opposing the initiative, our experts team in consultation with those Liberals have now come up with five more reasons why opposing Yoga Day is right. Here are those five reasons:
1: Yoga makes women’s skin darker – Blow to Yami Gautam: Yoga Day needs its participants to perform yoga under sun. And doing yoga at midday will surely darken the skin of ladies doing it. This Yoga Day will be a blow to Yami Gautam’s agenda of turning every other Indian women white. Clearly, this government is anti-women and we have to bring back Rahul Gandhi for women empowerment.
2: Yoga Day brings ’emergency’ back to India: Everyone who lived through the Emergency knew that people ‘crawled when told to bend’ during that democratic Congress rule. Even while doing Yoga, you are told by instructor to crawl and bend. You have to obey the instructor who will be obviously a person appointed by the ruling BJP govt. Clearly, Advaniji is bhavishya-darshak when he said that Emergency is coming back to India. People are already bending to the government’s instructions.
3: Grabbing the breath of minorities: Earlier in an interview to Faking News, an Intellectual Expert revealed that doing Breathing exercises in Yoga snatches the Oxygen from minorities. In words of Rahul Gandhi, “By bringing Yoga Day, Modi is snatching the Oxygen from minorities and gives it to Yoga doing upper class Hindus.”
4: Trial for seeing minorities in corpse pose: In the words of one Saudi-based religious freedom activist, “Savasana is a trial of mass minority persecution”. Obviously, many of the Indian minorities will be doing Yoga this Sunday. And every Yoga ends with Savasana (Sanskrit word for Corpse posture). Many Nostradamus-es of India have predicted that this is nothing but a trial of an impending pogrom against minorities. Poor minorities will be kept in sleeping pose and Hindutva organisations will take photo of them sleeping like a corpse to appease their sadistic enjoyment. According to sources, taking photograph of minorities in corpse posture is a lab experiment for the Bihar elections.
5: After finishing Yoga, you will be very hungry and may break your fast, if any: This is one of the biggest discovery by our experts and liberal team over why government chose June 21 as International Yoga Day (apart from the facts that it is day of Summer solstice and death date of RSS founder). This date falls in the holy month of a particular religion during which its adherents fast from morning till evening. Obviously, Yoga Day places stress on doing so when sun is up. It is a known fact that doing any sort of physical activity increases your hunger and doing yoga too increases your hunger. When this particular minority religion’s members do yoga, they will crave for food and break their fast. It is not a shock for secularism, because last year, an ally of BJP too tried to break fast of pious person.