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Sonia Gandhi unhappy with policy logjam, corruption, cold weather, and slow internet

15, Dec 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. Various news reports published by the mainstream media networks today confirmed that Sonia Gandhi, the leader of the ruling Congress party, was upset with some terrible things happening in the country. Media reports declared that although Sonia Gandhi wanted to do away with such terrible things, she was finding herself completely helpless, despite being the strongest person in India as far as politics goes.

“Sonia ji wants Food Security bill, strong Lokpal bill, strong rupee, no black money abroad, no farmer suicides, no petrol price hikes, no Mullaperiyar fights, no corruption, no inflation, no crime, no terrorism, no bad things,” a Congress source revealed the noble intentions of the UPA chairperson, which was noted down with utmost respect and sincerity by the mainstream media reporters.

Sonia Gandhi
Sonia Gandhi always has the best wishes and blessings for the aam aadmi

“She is annoyed with this government and the Prime Minister, and has asked the UPA allies to pull up the socks,” the Congress source claimed, which was reported verbatim afterwards by the media.

When this reporter asked the Congress source whether this meant that the Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh was taking decisions without consulting Sonia Gandhi, the source claimed that the “charge was baseless”.

“All you need to know (and report) is that Sonia Gandhi is working for the betterment of the nation, the deeds of the government notwithstanding,” the Congress source explained, and blamed coalition politics for some of the mess created.

“What nonsense! Are you an RSS mouthpiece?” the Congress source retorted when Faking News reporter argued that why should Sonia Gandhi, who is the chairperson of the ruling coalition, be not blamed for the shortcomings of this coalition government.

Our reporter immediately apologized for this oversight, following which he was presented with a warm sweater, made of wools of a black sheep, as a token of appreciation.

Later, speaking exclusively to Faking News, the Congress source further claimed that the wish-list of Sonia Gandhi didn’t stop with political issues and she wanted the government to deal with unpleasant issues such as cold weather, slow internet speed, too many pigeons in the cities, and Kamaal Rashid Khan (KRK).

“She cares for the aam aadmi,” the source concluded, and the Faking News reporter agreed.