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Silence is the absence of Arnab - new science theory proposed

25, Jan 2015 By burabandar

New Delhi. In what is seen as India’s biggest contribution to the world of science after Aryabhat’s Zero and Valmiki’s Pushpak Vimaan, debate participants on The Newshour show have postulated a new scientific theory to measure Silence or the lack of it.

In an official communiqué, Annihilated by Arnab Society (AAS) sent out a note that read – SILENCE IS THE ABSENCE OF ARNAB. Honorary AAS members Sambhit Patra, Meenakshi Lekhi, Ashok Pandit, Sanjay Jha, Shazia Ilmi, Maroof Raja as well as invitees from across the border, Major General Rashid Quereshi and Brig. Javed Hussain were the signatories of the document.

Arnab Goswami
Noisy photo

Meenakshi Lekhi who has been a favorite muse on the show said, “This was a top secret project which, we the participants at the Newshour debated among ourselves post every Newshour  Session. In a universe that is majorly relative, ‘ARNAB’ is an absolute entity just like ‘0’. It is the complete opposite to Silence as there is nothing beyond it. This is a landmark moment for all of us cutting across political affiliations who acted as mute rats while Arnab spoke. A special thanks to our Pakistani guests who very selflessly and willingly got themselves molested and tortured by Arnab day in and day out. But success comes with hard work, and finally after episodes of torture we present to you ‘ARNAB’ the ultimate and unlimited unit of absolute noise.”

Sanjay Jha, who has had many a glorious moments with Arnab said, “Do you think you have faced the worst? Do you have it in you to face Arnab? Remember how Hulk smashes Loki in The Avegers? That’s how it felt, every moment of it. Whatever strength your vocal chords permitted you, Arnab would still make you feel puny. This is the power of Arnab. I have faced so many interviews & journalists, but Arnab is a class apart.”

AAS is expecting their discovery to be acknowledged as the most important discovery of this century. It claims a great relevancy for the usage of ‘ARNAB’. Since noise in various forms is what is required by those in a position of authority and more the noise more is the authority, AAS believes a scale for absolute noise will help many ‘make an AAS (Arnab Accredited Soul) of themselves’. Lot of political debates can be easily decided by judging which of the participant is the biggest AAS.

In the words of Vinod Mehta, “There is an Arnab in each of us, just need to know how big an AAS we are.”