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Flood angry over complete blackout of its activities in Assam, vows to attack Mumbai to get media coverage

05, Oct 2014 By manithan

Guwahati. A leading “Nature listener” Lakshman Rao has revealed a sensational news that floods have decided to target Mumbai soon.

Lakshman Rao, aged 45, was seen resting in his serene garden besides his green home, in the city of Guwahati. An avid nature lover and one who grows plants even in his bedroom, Lakshman’s tryst with nature began when he joined the Botany course in his undergraduate days.

When asked about how he talks with nature, he laughed and said, “One must think of oneself as one of the nature. You should not see yourself different from nature. That way, you can also interact with nature, like me.”

When asked about thrilling experiences he had got from interacting with Nature, he said, “Once I was in Japan and while talking with the waves there, I learnt of a possible tsunami. Due to my timely warning, many Japanese were saved. I felt thrilled and happy after that incident.”

Nobody to cover the disaster.
Nobody to cover the disaster.

Cutting short to the breaking news, Rao said, “For the past one week, I am here to read the local flora and fauna here. And there was this furious floods here, which I had warned few days back to the Meteorological groups, yet they dismissed me as lunatic. Yesterday, when I was in the terrace, I saw the clouds and river having a meeting. I somehow caught wind of their talks with the help of wind. They were talking about how none of the Indian news channels covered about them. The flood water too  joined the conversation fuming that nobody cursed it which made it feel that whether it didn’t perform well.”

He continued, “I was shocked. I joined the conversation and asked the reason for distress among the cloud and flood. Cloud said that nobody covered about its atrocious rains and flood said that nobody tweeted anything in solidarity with the people, while it was unleashing its terror among them. Just then, a voice above the cloud, said, ‘Children! I had so many prayers for Mumbai floods, Uttarakhand floods, Kashmir floods, but I had never received any prayer for floods in North East. Let aside the fact that I don’t help them for their prayers and they think that I only send them floods as punishment.’”

He concluded that, “After a few exchanges of water, both the cloud and flood decided to wreak havoc on metropolitan cities like Mumbai & Delhi, so that news channels and people care about them and shout curses on them. The flood, in particular, was watery-eyed when it spoke of the attention it got in Mumbai few years back and in Kashmir last month. It seemed to be very angry about complete blackout of its activities in Assam and had vowed to attack Mumbai to get complete attention and coverage. I wanted to warn the people of impending danger and that is why I contacted your news office.”

When Faking News contacted some news channels, “natural disaster sympathizers” and “people who drive away natural disaster with prayers alone”, they all said in unison that “we thought that there is some big-time social experiment going on in North East and the organizers were waiting for someone to save people caught in Assam Floods, and are also monitoring the intensity of tweets in case of such condition.”