Saturday, 25th November, 2017

Snippets

Bollywood to make a movie where son of a thrashed newshour panelist grows up to take revenge

01, Dec 2014 By idiot420

Mumbai. Taking a cue from the incidents that happen regularly on Arnab’s Newshour, famous Bollywood director Gajendra Gupta has decided to create a movie in typical 80s style, which will tell story of revenge by a Newshour panelist’s son.

The movie titled “Once Upon a Time in Newshourgarh” revolves around a ruthless Thakur Arnab Singh Goswami, who is the supreme boss of a village named Newshourgarh. Arnab Singh is habituated of organizing a panchaayat daily at 9 pm to talk about day to day issues related to Newshourgarh and the nearby villages.

Arnab
Thakur Arnab Singh Goswami

“Thakur organizes the daily panchaayats not to solve any issue but to pacify his own desires, where he fancies thrashing at least one person every day. That’s why villagers are always afraid to attend Arnab’s meeting. But once invited by Arnab, they have to go, otherwise Thakur has this habit of keeping an empty chair for that person and performing voodoo magic on a doll placed on the chair, causing pain to the absent villager. Therefore attending the panchaayat is seen less humiliating and painful by the villagers,” Director Gajendra Singh explained the plot of the movie.

Ridiculing people at decibel level sufficient enough to reach villages 50 miles away from Newshourgarh is Thakur Arnab Singh’s way of entertaining himself.

“So loud is his voice that children living in nearby villages consider that a signal for going to bed. Children are even more afraid of Anrab than Gabbar Singh. And here, mothers don’t even have to say ‘So jaa beta, warna Gabbar aa jayega‘,” Gajendra Singh continued.

One fine evening, Thakur Arnab Singh embarrasses one of the attendees, Dhananjay Jha, so much that he breaks down publicly in the panchaayat. He hits himself in full public view with the hookah a fellow attendee from neighboring village was smoking, and goes into coma.

While the entire village, except the Thakur, goes into shocked silence, Ranjay Jha, 12 years old son of Dhananjay Jha vows to take revenge of his father’s public humiliation.

Young and enraged Ranjay then goes to Subramanian Sharma, a priest who lives in a village around 40 kms away from the Newshourgarh, who as per the folklore, had once gave befitting reply to Thakur Arnab Singh.

Ranjay requests Subramanian Sharma to teach him the required skills to be able to face the brutal Thakur Arnab Singh.

Initially Subramanian refuses to accept Ranjay as his disciple, as he has ideological differences with his father Dhananjay Jha. But later on, he agrees after Ranjay accepts that his forefathers were followers of Subramanianism. The priest decides to train the young lad.

After taking rigorous training for 20 years, now a 32 years old Ranjay returns to Newshourgarh to destroy the empire of Thakur Arnab Singh.

61 years old Arnab is still the same person, only difference is, now he uses powerful loudspeakers to maintain the same decibel level as good old times.

One the D-day, with little help from Subramanian Sharma, Ranjay somehow manages to attend the panchaayat in the evening. The panchaayat had gathered to discuss – Why are crows disappearing from our villages?

At a time when all panchaayat attendees were busy blaming each other for disappearance of crows, Ranjay stood up and said something that shocked everyone.

“Thakur Arnab Singh, it is because of your voice. All crows in the vicinity of 25000 square miles are so irritated by your voice that they are leaving this area,” he said, leaving the entire village, this time including Arnab, in shocked silence.

Realizing that his empire could crumble under this vocal and logical attack, Thakur Arnab Singh tries to lift his loudspeaker and hit back, but another panchaayat attendee, an old Khambit Patra gathers all his strength and pulls the loudspeaker away from Arnab’s hand and throws it towards Ranjay.

Armed with a loudspeaker, Ranjay amplifies his attack on Thakur for the next half an hour, as Khambit Patra holds back a disgruntled and livid Arnab to his chair, till the time Thakur’s image is shattered completely in front of everyone.

“Finally Thakur hits himself with the microphone and announces an end to his daily panchaayats, triggering off celebrations in Newshourgarh and all the neighboring villages,” the Director revealed the climax, “The movie will end with an item song featuring all of The Newshour participants.”