Friday, 22nd September, 2017

Snippets

While frisking, Infosys security guard collapses by the smell of the unwashed tie used non-stop for 15 years

23, May 2015 By dasu

Bangalore. In a shocking development, security guard Bhagwan Singh who is working in Infosys Electronics city office, collapsed today morning while doing his regular duty of frisking employees at the north gate. When he was being taken to nearby Narayan Health center, he recovered after getting sufficient clean oxygen on the way.

Faking news reporter met Bhagwan to know more about it. Bhagwan narrated the incident as happened. “Sir, I did not have a good sleep previous night as the IPL match got over very late, still I reported dot on time to complete my nine and half hours of duty. Friday mornings are usually tough as in addition to regular checking of what all employees carry to office, we need to see whether they are wearing tie or not.”

“Some kind of strange smells were coming from the ties as we could see most of them were not washed for years. In addition, quite a few of them carried the unwashed gym dress which does not make our life easier. I do not know what happened next till I got my sense back with oxygen mask on my face.”

Minutes before collapsing.
Minutes before collapsing.

Faking news asked Infosys management why no action has been taken by tech bellwether even after one year of Swachh Bharat Abhiyan launched by Modiji. One of the senior HR employee Mr. Kamath told us on the condition of anonymity, “I am working in Infosys for last twenty five years. I have done a research paper on this. As per my findings, most of the techies who are bachelors are afraid of washing the ties themselves or giving it to a laundry as the knot would be removed in the process and after that they do not know how to knot it back.”

When we asked Mr Kamath if he knew how to knot the tie, he said, “Let me confess I am not very good at it. Luckily my wife helps me in keeping my ties clean and ready. Unlike techies I need to wear them every day as I have to meet so many clients, vendors on regular basis.”

Mr. Kamath revealed that he gave two suggestions as part of his final report to higher management. “How to knot the tie should be a compulsory course as part of training curriculum and like fire drill, this should be repeated every quarter. Second, during campus placement and off campus recruitments, the interviewer should ask and check whether the job aspirant knows how to knot the tie.”

Infosys security guards association have requested Mr. Vishal Sikka to look in to the matter on urgent basis so that in future no one suffers like Bhagwan Singh. However they want wearing tie should remain compulsory as this HR policy was initiated by none other than Mr. Narayan Murthy.

Till a long term solution is found they have asked for tie sensors on the lines of alcohol sensors that traffic police use so that they do not have to go too close to the employee. As there is nothing of the sort of tie sensors readily available in the market, Infosys has assigned few IITians whom it has recruited in campus placement to work on this asap and if makes sense file a patent in this regard.