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VVPAT machines will also print zodiac predictions of the day based on the voter's date of birth, says centre

29, Apr 2017 By RT

New Delhi. After allocating Rs.3000 crores for VVPAT (machines with Voter-Verified Paper Audit Trail) , the government said the machine will print an Audit trail of votes and also a zodiac prediction of the day, for the voter, based on his/her date of birth.

“VVPAT is specially designed to make sure it is tamper-proof. The paper it prints out is waterproof and also thorn-proof. The additional feature, the prediction it makes is simply a proof that centre and the Election Commission are very serious about executing the business of selecting democracy in our country,” an EC official told Faking News.

“We had  a test run of the VVPAT machines and the results were hilarious! When an EC official voted, the prediction said: Avoid unnecessary debate; When a candidate voted, it said: This is the not good day for investment. For another candidate, it said: Some bad news might disappoint you. For a farmer, it said: This is good time for suicide; For a voter who accepted cash for voting, it said: You will feel joy and enthusiasm, today,” the EC official explained the testing process of the new VVPAT machine.

When Faking News asked whether it is tamper-proof, he said, “Listen! First of all, explain what is tamper-proof! The entire system is tampered. People vote for symbols and not for candidates; People vote for cash and not for ideology; Candidates contest to make money and not do service; Candidates contest to gain power and not to do public work; The country, as a whole, considers an election as an entertainment and not as an exercise for nation building! Everything is tampered.”

Faking News reporter wrapped up the discussion on VVPAT machines, having not received a decisive reply on whether it is tamper-proof or not! As a parting gift, the reporter also was allowed to test the new VVPAT machine and received the following prediction: You will feel unbiased and show no prejudice today!