Sunday, 22nd October, 2017

Snippets

Toll plazas to have dedicated 'beating zones' for politicians to beat up toll staff 

08, May 2017 By @jurnoleast

Politicians disgruntled with Govt’s move to do away with Laal-Battis have something to cheer about finally. The Govt today announced that to facilitate beating up of toll employees by politicians, toll plazas will now have dedicated ‘beating zones’. The move comes after it was observed that regular occurrences of toll staff being trashed by VVIPs which led to vehicular pile up causing inconvenience to commuters.

Speaking to Faking News, a Senior Govt. Official said, “Doing away with red beacons made it difficult for toll staff to identify a VVIP and led to frequent arguments. Though beating zones won’t make identifying a VVIP easier, but atleast it will not create jams at toll junctions. At the moment we have such zones in North India as most cases of VVIP racism are observed here. Later we intend to cover the entire country.”

The announcement brought cheer among many politicians. Some who made up their mind after PM’s Every Person Important comment were now having second thoughts thanks to the idea of dedicated zones.

Our reporter visited the inauguration of one such Beating Zone in Bihar where politician Pappu Yadav was the chief guest. After the cutting of ribbon, Mr. Yadav was given a short introduction of the zone and even trashed a few toll staff.

Complete with boxing gloves and baseball bats, the zones are going to have state of the art facilities for beating up staff. The CCTV cameras are also programmed to turn-off automatically once a VVIP enters the beating zone.

“It is good that those CCTVs can be turned off. With Arnab back in action, one viral video can be the end of our political innings,” said an MP.

Shiv Sena MP Ravindra Gaikwad, who was in news last month for assaulting an Air India employee, welcomed the Govt’s latest move. When asked if he’d wear one of those red boxing gloves to punch toll staff,he said, “Arre nahi. I always use my chappal. Pachas baar marneka hoga toh chappal jyada acha hota hai.