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President Patil’s granddaughter fails to identify United States on world map

22, Jun 2012 By dumb doc

New Delhi. In a shocking development, outgoing President Mrs. Pratibha Patil’s granddaughter Divya failed to identify the United States of America on the world map. Her failure has shocked her teachers and the Presidential staff alike.

Her Geography teacher Mrs. Sonia Gupta was unable to control her surprise and disappointment, “Divya has been brilliant in Geography. She could otherwise identify even a rice grain-sized country on the world map and give complete description of its beautiful beaches geographical features having accompanied her grandmother President Patil to every known place on the world map. I don’t know what happened this time.”

Pratibha Patil
President Pratibha Patil, when not traveling out of India.

Faking News spoke to some of her friends to get their reaction. “Divya often shared the taxpayers’ money souvenirs which she used to get from the countries she used to visit while accompanying her grandmother. She even gifted me exotic wines from France on my birthday! Seems like this time she lost her American goodies which could have reminded her of her visit to that country,” said Reeta, her bench-mate.

A pal of gloom descended inside the Rashtrapati Bhavan as soon as the news spread inside. Mr. Sifarishi Lal, Divya’s personal tutor was more candid in his views, “Whenever we accompanied Pratibha madam to her foreign vacations overseas diplomatic missions, I always made sure that I explained every detail of that country to Divya. She, in return was always eager to go on sightseeing expeditions learn more about the country’s geography. As a result she has always been a topper in Geography in her class. So it is beyond reason to my why she should fail to spot a particular country on the map.”

Similar views were echoed by other officials of the Rashtrapati Bhavan.

“Divya could even point to a country while blindfolded which was yet to feature on the world map. For instance we accompanied madam President to this island which was inhabited by only 100 people. It was a diplomatic mission where she signed the ‘hijack treaty’ to deny a safe haven to airplane hijackers on that island. We even got an airport constructed over there for madam’s jet to land as they did not have one! Ask Divya and she can provide you with every detail of that island’s geography be it the beaches or snow covered mountains,” said one of the officials.

President Patil could not be reached for her views as she was reportedly busy watching MasterChef India on TV, which is said to be her favorite show.

Unconfirmed reports say that Madam Patil is even preparing to file for a re-nomination to the President’s post as she is keen to go on space missions this time and teach Divya the intricacies of the outer space, as Divya wants to become a scientist like APJ Abdul Kalam when she grows up.