Mumbai. A petty thief from Navi Mumbai, Mr. Rob had applied for a job with HYESFCI bank during their latest recruitment drive last week. “In his resume, he mentioned petty thief as previous experience, which got attention of our recruitment team,” said the bank official to Faking News.
“When we called him for the interview, the first thing we did was to compliment his looks saying that he didn’t look like a thief at all. He returned the same kind words about us as well. We all laughed at the obvious joke but only later realized that he was not joking at all,” he further added.
“I break lock from boxes to steal from it. That is onetime stealing. You guys put customers’ things inside lock boxes and make more money from it continuously as charges; that’s stealing by putting a lock. That’s innovative,” he said.
“I pick pockets to take money from innocent people. That’s onetime stealing. You fill the pockets of innocent and needy people with loan money and continuously steal from it as interest. And then there is processing fee and foreclosure fee and so many hidden charge. In most loans, you guys steal as much as twice the amount you give out. That’s more innovative. And I haven’t mentioned how bank officials have colluded with these alleged hoarders of 2000 rupee notes,” he added.
Now, I do not have any technique which can even remotely be compared to your credit cards. You guys are bigger thieves and do this legally and in bigger scale. Please accept my application!”, the petty thief argued, said the bank official.
The petty thief is now corporate vice president of the bank’s retail division, it is later learnt by Faking News.