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Snippets

Pakistan declares unconditional love for the Commonwealth Games

23, Sep 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

Islamabad, Pakistan. Pakistan has officially declared that everyone in that country was loving every bit of screw-up that was happening in India around the Commonwealth Games (CWG), and that they would not like anything drastic like the games being postponed or called off anytime soon.

“The show must go on,” said Pakistani foreign minister Shah Mahmood Qureshi, speaking at a pace comparable with that of CWG construction works, “the games have been a beautiful reciprocation from India in the arena of corruption, security and general failure of system, and they can boost bilateral ties by bringing the countries closer.”

Reports suggest that the sudden love of Pakistanis for something “Indian” stems from the fact that every damn Pakistani has been laughing his ass off whenever he read anything about CWG.

“LOL! #India is screwed! #awesome #funny #CWG” tweeted a certain @proud_paki_on_web on the social networking site Twitter after the news about ‘false’ celling of a stadium falling down was reported by various news sources.

Pakistani McDonalds
Pakistanis are loving it, sources say

“I am loving it!” says Usman, who sells McDonalds anda-bhurji in Karachi, echoing the sentiments of millions of Pakistanis who are religiously following every news about CWG.

“Athletes are not going to India due to security concerns,” points out Shamim Afridi, a 29-year-old aspiring cricketer taking part in Under-19 cricket tournament, “and Indians were happy when Australians refused to play cricket with us.”

Sources inform that among the common Pakistanis, the cricket lovers were the happiest with the CWG mess as they saw it as a “balancing act” from God after Pakistan faced international embarrassment over match-fixing, security at cricket stadiums, and floods.

“Man, this is fucking awesome!” PCB chairman Ijaz Butt could barely hide his excitement when Faking News asked for his reaction, “Delhi is almost drowned due to floods, ain’t it? And I hear Scotland has threatened to pull out of the games because the venues were dirty (laughs for 24 seconds) and Indians were trying to prove that our boys were dirty!”

“Scotland Yard must have got their answers by now,” he said before getting into another bout of laughter.

But back home, CWG officials and the Delhi government have rejected the love and laughter of Pakistanis as “minor thing” and have urged the citizens to not make fun of “their own games”.