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New demonetization rule: You can't think about money for more than 1 hour per day

22, Dec 2016 By sagarcasm

New Delhi: Demonetization rules are changing faster than actors changing their clothes during a Bollywood song sequence. Just like the plot of a confused Bollywood thriller, the plot twists are getting just ridiculous towards the end. According to a new announcement made by the Government, a person cannot think about money for more than one hour a day.

Money
DON’T DO THAT!

“We are committed to removing Black money from the country. If Black Money is virus, the NDA Government is Quick Heal”, PM Modi said in a rally in Uttar Pradesh.  “We are going a step further to curb Black money. We are putting a ban on people thinking a lot about the money. When a person cannot think about money, how will he keep it?” he added.

The BJP members have called this decision a masterstroke. This will cure corruption from its inception. Finance Minister Arun Jaitley told Faking News, “We are doing our best to prevent people from thinking about money. If a person fails to abide by this rule, we will impose 12.5 % thinking tax on that person. This will further improve economy and bring white money in circulation.”

When asked how the Government will monitor the thoughts of the citizens, Jaitley said, “We are ready to answer this question in the Parliament but the winter session is already over. We will answer this question during the budget session.”

Meanwhile CBI has already started raiding investors from various cities who were found surfing the websites of BSE and NSE for more than one hour per day. Fearing raids, the share brokers have already closed their offices for 3 days. They will reopen their offices from next week as they are sure that the Government will withdraw this rule by then.

Faking News got hold of a leaked document from the Finance Ministry which showed that the Government is planning to implement more new rules for demonetization in the future.  From next week, only clean shaven men can withdraw money. For women, only those who put Red coloured lipstick will be able to withdraw money.