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MPs to be allowed to access porn during parliamentary debates to control disruptions

06, May 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. Parliament would soon be installing personal computers on each MP’s desk in both the houses, ostensibly to cut down upon paper work and speed up proceedings, but our sources inform that the move is aimed at allowing honorable members to indulge in their favorite pastimes like accessing porn so that they don’t create disruptions. All these computers would be provided with uninterrupted power and internet supply.

“A tender would be issued very soon in this regard. We are in the process of working over the detailed requirements.” Parliamentary Affairs minister Pawan Kumar Bansal informed, reaffirming that the step was being taken to save time and paperwork.

The purported reason appears impractical as MPs have time and again proved that they were not technically savvy, with many MPs making a mistake while voting electronically and a bulk of them unable to operate an e-mail account. Fuelling the doubts has been the fact that this step was announced just a day after a Florida senator was caught viewing porn as he was bored with the debate of lawmakers.

Porn viewing senator
Lawmakers do host of things to keep them busy inside legislature houses

“It’s no secret that lawmakers find the debates and parliamentary proceeding boring. In USA, they watch porn while in India they indulge in slogan shouting and walkouts to do away with this boredom. I guess this is an attempt to move towards the US style of functioning.” said a constitutional expert.

Sources inform Faking News that all of these computers would have loads of Gigs of pornographic materials on respective hard disks keeping in mind the diverse socio-political and multicultural composition of our parliament.

“The hardliners among BJP could prefer hardcore porn while the communist from Kerala could prefer mallu aunty clips. DMK could love all the popular MMS clips as they like the telecommunications department, while J&K MPs from PDP might prefer Pakistani mujras. Congress MPs would need sophisticated high quality XXX DVD-Rips while RJD MPs could be happy with raunchy Bhojpuri song clips.” said one of the vendors hoping to win the contract for supplying computers and porn.

“It’s going to be an interesting task and lot of research will have to go into it. Say, we’ll have to find out if BSP MPs consider all women as behenji and would therefore need gay porn. Then there is the question of what women want.” wondered the vendor.

While experts have welcomed the move as it could encourage increased attendance of MPs and would distract them from indulging in disruptive activities, they have also warned that it might leave the parliament with no activity at all.

“A fixed percentage of those computes should be shut down on rotational basis, so that at least some of the MPs take part in the parliamentary debates.” proposed an expert.