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Monkeys to dress like politicians to keep humans away

03, Aug 2014 By Pratik Purohit

New Delhi: Inspired by New Delhi Municipal Corporation’s decision to use human langurs to scare away monkeys from parliament premises, monkeys have decided to dress and act like politicians to keep those humans away from areas around their residential trees.

Monkeys claimed that it was humans, who intruded into their comfort zones and built houses, and hence they had the first right to drive the settlers away.

Monkey
Monkeys waiting outside parliament to share their problems with MPs.

“After adopting violent and less effective ways like biting, screeching etc, it’s time to use non-violent, cruel and more effective way,” said Pinku, leader of monkeys while peeling off banana on a mango tree near Sansad Marg.

On being asked about the origin of their idea, Pinku denied that they had copied the human-langur idea, and clarified that earlier they dressed like Sajid Khan and KRK to keep humans away.

“But that was not much effective as some human beingss started following us, while rest of them made fun of us,” Pinku continued.

He further added, “This idea stuck my mind when I overheard a conversation between a husband and a wife from neighborhood while we were raiding a lone house in South Delhi. While my fellow members were busy doing things, I heard that couple was worried about their son’s willingness to become a politician. Wife was sobbing and told her husband that she didn’t want to see her son doing scams, having contacts with criminals or become the one.”

Interrupting the conversation, another monkey cum Defense Minister Monu said, “I have also heard many similar conversations, and humans often criticize politicians for their problems. But when a politician appears, they could barely utter a word. Human beingss appear to be very afraid of politicians.”

As per the master plan of monkeys, apart from wearing white kurta-payjama and Nehru topi to look like a conventional politician, they would try to deliver speech, quarrel, accuse each other, and dance like politicians whenever they spot any human being around their area.

“We are hopeful this would work and humans will start keeping away from our residential areas,” said Monu while trying to put a Laal Batti on one of the residential trees.

After this news was leaked by Information and Broadcasting Minister Pinky Kumari of Monkey Government, three monkeys of Gandhiji expressed their happiness over adoption of non-violent way by the Monkey community.