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Meteorites strike Switzerland, Indian politicians suffer stroke

16, Feb 2013 By Shiva Kumar Dhivakar

New Delhi. Even as Russia is still reeling under the aftermath of a meteor attack that left 900 injured, a fresh swarm of fireballs streaked across the night sky and landed on Zurich in Switzerland causing instant explosions in many parts of the city last night.

Several edifices crumbled as they caught fire and flattened before the firefighters could arrive at the scene. Among the demolished structures were also a couple of Swiss banks.

There were no casualties reported, but about twenty people, all of them Indians, were injured when they made a vain attempt to sneak into the banks and make off with some money while the buildings were engulfed in flames.

Crater
Dollars and gold belonging to Indians that could fill this 500 meters deep pit are feared to be gone

The biggest impact of this disaster was, however, felt thousands of miles away in India where hundreds of politicians, upon receiving this news, suffered a stroke. Residents in several parts of Delhi were woken up in the middle of the night and driven to panic by the blaring noise of ambulance sirens and police convoys.

“Even after that horrifying gang rape incident, we have never seen a single police patrol-vehicle in this area after dark,” observed an elderly resident, “But last night, it looks like the entire police force was out on the streets. I first thought it was some terrorist attack, but later someone told me it was only a heart attack!”

Our Faking News correspondent, disguising himself as a hospital attendant at AIIMS, managed to catch hold of a 70-year-old MP who survived the stroke after being administered CPR by a young female paramedic.

The politician wiped his tears of agony while lying coiled in his hospital bed and said, “We did decades and decades of sheer hard work to amass that. And we lost it overnight!”

Another politician from the adjoining ward echoed the feelings. “There were plenty of places on the earth for the damn meteor to fall. It could have even fallen over some Indian village, or over Subramanian Swamy‘s head! But why Swiss banks?”

His wife, sobbing along, added, “Even when Parliament was attacked in 2001, my husband did not show the slightest signs of panic, although he was inside at that time. But last night, he received a phone call and stood frozen while holding the receiver stuck to his ear as if he had an electric shock. And then he collapsed to the floor.”

“I had saved enough for the next ten generations of my family. Everything is gone,” grumbled another Lok Sabha member, “Moreover we all are already nearing the end of our tenures now. And I’m not sure if we will be elected for another term to earn back all that money!”

In the wake of this disaster, the stock markets crashed as the shares of several leading companies having affiliations to now-bankrupt politicians slumped to abysmal lows. A source close to Congress party revealed to Faking News that the government is now exploring the possibility of doubling the prices of all the commodities in order to make up for the loss.