Thursday, 21st September, 2017

Snippets

Men at work totally busy trying to help the new girl in office

22, Jul 2014 By idiot420

Bangalore. Male employees of BrainDead Services Private Limited, an IT services company, are totally busy these days competing against each other to decide who would help the newly joined girl with her work.

It all started last week when Manmohini, a software engineer with two years of experience joined BrainDead. As per office sources, all was going as expected with men, especially those with “single” status, finding excuses to start a conversation with her.

“Everybody was introducing himself to Manmohini and explaining their skills. Had they done something similar during the appraisal process, they might have got that extra 1% salary hike!” said Murthy, the HR manager of the company.

Lady typing at computer
These finger movements are defining the movements of men in the office these days.

Apart from verbally displaying their LinkedIn profile pages to the new girl, all of them reassured Manmohini that they were always there for her.

“Being a true team player, we all promised to help her beyond our capacity,” Mrugank, one of the “competitors” confirmed.

As luck had it, Manmohini faced her first problem within an hour of starting her work. This is when the competition entered the “cut throat” level.

“Within seconds, ten guys were standing around me to help,” recounted Manmohini while talking to Faking News, “And after that, all hell broke loose. All ten of them started fighting for my laptop, just in order to fix my problem.”

A guy named Vikas managed to get the laptop and ran away from the site, so that he alone fixed the problem and became a hero in the eyes of Manmohini. This is when the competition entered the “war zone”.

Following complaint by the colleagues, Vikas has been warned not to indulge in such behavior again. Rules of war have been released by the HR department and employees have promised to follow them, unlike other rules routinely released by HR.

Latest reports suggest that everyone in the company is waiting for Manmohini to encounter her second problem.

Meanwhile Faking News has found out that Manmohini was a secret weapon that was employed by BrainDead to suppress a growing discontent and possible rebellion among the employees over paltry salary hike earlier this year.

“Frankly, this is for the first time that we have hired someone for their looks,” the HR manager claimed, “There are some women in our workforce, and they too are unhappy about the salary hike. But we thought to control the men first.”

“But what if someone finally wins her over? That employee will go on a date, and will again realize that he doesn’t get enough salary to support a romantic life?” Faking News asked.

“She already has a boyfriend, but we have asked her not to disclose it till the next appraisal,” Murthy revealed.