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Manipur MLAs planning to watch porn to grab attention of the nation

24, Mar 2012 By Pagal Patrakar

Imphal. Some MLAs in Manipur, cutting across party lines, are planning to watch porn in the assembly to get the attention of Indian public and the media, especially the television news channels. These MLAs have already contacted local reporters of such TV channels and asked them to record their porn-viewing adventure and turn it into a breaking news.

“We finally hope that people will notice us,” said an MLA who didn’t mind being quoted, but whose name our Delhi-based reporter couldn’t understand.

Manipur had gone to polls earlier this year and election results were announced earlier this month. However, states like Uttarakhand and Goa got more media attention than Manipur, which has more assembly seats than Goa and is comparable to Uttarakhand.

Manipur Assembly building
Manipur assembly building, discovered by our reporter after googling.

“Nobody even cared why we re-elected the same government despite being under economic blockade for months,” said the MLA, “Maybe this is how we can finally be the center of attraction.”

Earlier, MLAs had thought about other means to be in news, such as throwing mikes at each other or inviting Rakhi Sawant to visit the assembly, but experts advised them to watch porn.

“Nothing excites the nation more than naked ladies,” a porn-viewing expert, who was consulted by the Manipur MLAs, told Faking News, “People don’t need proof; you just have to give them a chance to imagine nudity.”

“Like Poonam Pandey did,” he added, “She never actually stripped, but people kept on imagining her without clothes.”

“Similarly, you don’t even need to watch any actual porn clip. Just show the screen of your mobile phone or iPad blurred on television screens, and rest of the details will be filled in by the public,” the porn-viewing expert is reported to have told the Manipur MLAs.

The porn-viewing expert is even reported to have convinced the Manipur MLAs that Goa and Uttarakhand could get more attention because of women in bikinis and ND Tiwari respectively.

Convinced with the arguments of the expert, MLAs have decided to give the idea of viewing porn in the assembly a go. However, with no BJP MLA in Manipur, MLAs are currently wondering which party MLA should be caught watching porn for maximum media and public attention.

The obvious choice was for a Congress MLA; because Congress is a national party and BJP could help make it a national issue, but some MLAs believe Trinamool Congress, with 7 MLAs in Manipur, could also be a good choice.

“The Trinamool MLA could be asked to resign by Mamata Di for his wicked behavior and it could add even more masala for the media,” hoped the MLA.

Latest reports say that the whole plan is getting delayed as television news channels are insisting on “exclusive” recording of the porn-viewing exercise.

(originally written for and published in English Daily DNA)